Step

28

Don’t talk and think about what you want

Do you know it’s totally impossible to process a negative in your neurology? For example, just stop for a moment – now I don’t want you to think of a blue elephant. What are you thinking of? That’s right, a blue elephant. Yet we do this kind of thing all the time. I remember when my daughter Megan was about two-and-a-half years old – this was a mere six months after she’d learned that a bed wasn’t a prison¹ – and she came into the living room carrying a large glass of milk. There had been no spillage problems so far, but as a clever grown-up I could see it happening. Focusing on what can go wrong rather than go right,I say, “Hey Megan, don’t drop that milk.” With a big smile on her face Megan drops the milk and there’s an almighty smash. When this happens I immediately shout, what all parents shout in these circumstances: “What did I say?” To which Megan replies, the way any two-and-a-half-year-old would, “Well, Dad, you’re always going on about the fact you can’t process a negative in your neurology. What you actually said was ‘Drop the milk, don’t.’ You see,I can’t think about not dropping the milk without thinking about dropping it.” Just for good measure she also added, “It’s a bit like some of your other all-time favourites, ‘Don’t play in the road, don’t bite your nails, don’t wet the bed and don’t talk to strangers.’ Can you see now why I do all of those things?” She’s right.

The fact is, you become what you think and talk about most of the time. Now, strictly speaking, if that were true, most adolescent boys would, in point of fact, be adolescent girls, but you get the idea. The point is, successful people only think and talk about what they want most of the time. And what do failures talk and think about most of the time? That’s right, what they don’t want. People in sales are often guilty of this. I’ve many times overheard a salesperson, on the phone, say: “I don’t want you to think I’m giving you some kind of a hard sell.” Now, up until this point, you could tell the conversation was going rather well. It took the salesperson to put their foot in their big fat mouth.

“Successful people only think and talk about what they want most of the time.”

Businesses in general are just the same. I was in a hotel bathroom the other night when I noticed a small sign under the towel rail.It said, “Do not steal our towels. We will charge you £5 per towel.” Well, I got one of the large bath towels and held it up. It must have been over a metre long and was very thick and fluffy. I thought, this has got to cost at least £30 in Marks & Spencer. So I stole five. But I’ve got to tell you it never occurred to me until they toldme not to. So for maximum disruption, accidents and loss, make sure all your business communications from safety signs to company memos tell people what not to do – that way you’ll know they’ll go right ahead and do it. It beats me why computer companies put in big bold writing: “Don’t make copies of this disk.”

¹ Beds not being prisons will make no sense if you were naughty and skipped step 18.