Business Exposed146
foot-binding in China, female circumcision, etc.), which not
coincidentally have been adopted from epidemiology.
As I have said before, a virus – like the u – survives by spreading
to a new host, preferably before the old one dies. Often, there
are some creatures (e.g., rats) that facilitate the spread among
the creatures of another species (e.g., humans). That’s much of
what management consultants do, even knowingly: picking up
practices in one industry or country and recommending and
applying them in others. Just like viruses or bacteria, some of
these practices are not very helpful, to say the least (although, as
explained, the harmful effects may only manifest themselves in
the long run); others may have been useful in the original setting
(e.g., industry) but completely inappropriate in the new one.
TQM, ISO 9000, six sigma and so on, all come with a herd
of specialist consultants that help you implement it, and get
infected too. Unintentionally – again, just like the poor pigeons
in London’s Trafalgar Square – management consultants promote
the spread and persistence of the harmful practice. According to
former Mayor Livingstone, they’re best banned and starved to
death.
Management consultants – happy slapping
Now, before I move on, let me also say something in defense
of the management consultant, because it appears that it has
gradually become one of those professions which are socially
acceptable to mock. It seems it has been getting increasingly
fashionable to openly dislike management consultants (but hire
them anyway)! Now, I wouldn’t say it is an entirely new fashion,
but the loathing of the pin-striped mercenaries seems to be
reaching new and unprecedented heights of late.
A short while ago, I was talking to three members of the top team
of a British company (which will remain blissfully anonymous)
who showed me the three main conclusions of their team’s
recent “strategy retreat” and, believe it or not, one of the three
was “no more consultants!”