Finding A Way To Forgive

‘When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.’ – Bernard Meltzer

Most of us regularly forgive other people: the person who held up the queue at the supermarket, the driver who failed to notice that the light had turned green ten seconds ago, the friend who forgot to bring wine for dinner.

These sorts of things are easy to forgive and forget. But what if you are faced with more serious issues? It’s not always easy to accept what happened and forgive the other person or people involved. It can also be just as difficult to forgive yourself for something you regret having done (or not having done).

As far as mindfulness is concerned, all the time you are unable to forgive, you are living in the past. You are holding onto something that happened days, weeks, months or even years ago.

Forgiveness means letting go of the resentment, frustration or anger that you feel as a result of your own or someone else’s actions. It involves no longer wanting punishment, revenge or compensation.

Forgiveness is, first and foremost, for your benefit, not the person who hurt or offended you. It means recognizing that you have already been hurt once. You do not need to let the offence, the hurt and pain burden you by holding onto it. You deserve to be free of this negativity.

If you have reached a point where you want to put your own or someone else’s actions behind you and move on with your life then mindfulness can help.