Putting Jealousy Behind You

‘It is not love that is blind, but jealousy.’ – Lawrence Durrell

There's always someone you know who has a great lifestyle, relationship, house or job. There are always others with more money, lots of friends and a nicer family. Someone who is younger, better dressed and cleverer. In fact, there's always someone somewhere in a seemingly better position than you.

A touch of jealousy can be useful. It can push you – even inspire you – to improve your situation and to achieve more.

However, when jealousy overwhelms you it has the opposite effect, since your narrow, closed mind keeps out any possibility of moving forward in a positive way. You're stuck. Stuck in your jealousy.

When jealousy gets a grip on you, you compare your situation with theirs and find yours wanting.

Maybe someone else's position makes you feel threatened, or not good enough, unsure of yourself and your abilities or achievements. Maybe you feel that their strengths highlight your weaknesses. Perhaps you simply resent them for ‘making’ you feel jealous – trapped in a downward spiral of bitterness and anger.

Jealousy can make you lose touch with who you are. You create a false illusion of yourself based on and comparing yourself with someone else, and who they are and what they have.

You can only see what they have and what you have not.

Instead of fixating on what you don't have, mindfulness encourages you to focus and engage with what you do have and to work on getting what you want.