Dealing with Rudeness

‘To penetrate the hardest armour, use the softest touch.’ – Haven Trevino

A few years ago, writer and teacher Arthur Rosenfeld was in a drive-thru queue at a Starbucks in Florida. The man in the car behind him was getting impatient and angry, leaning on his horn and shouting insults at both Arthur and the Starbucks workers.

‘I'll show you what happens to rude and impatient people,’ thought Arthur. But then he caught himself and noticed that his face was as twisted with anger and hate as the man's behind him.

In one moment Arthur had what he calls a ‘change of consciousness’: he chose to keep calm and change the negativity into something positive. Arthur paid for both his and the other man's order and then went on his way. When he got home, Arthur discovered that his actions had featured on NBC News. Within twenty-four hours, news of what he had done had spread around the world via the Internet and television.

No doubt, you too have met mean, rude people. You're going about your day when out of the blue someone pulls their car abruptly in front of you or they jump the queue. Perhaps they interrupt you repeatedly when you're talking or say or write something horrible to deliberately hurt your feelings.

Usually, when others are rude or hostile, we jump at the chance to assume the worst and defend or attack. How can you – like Arthur Rosenfeld – have a ‘change of consciousness’? How do you reach inside and pull out kindness when it's the furthest thing from your mind?