Managing Moments of Loneliness

‘Only the lonely know how I feel tonight.’ – Roy Orbison

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. To be alone simply means to be physically separate from others. But loneliness is an emotional state. It's a feeling of isolation or separation.

Loneliness is something that most of us experience from time to time. You may experience loneliness as a vague feeling that something is not right, a kind of emptiness. Or you may feel loneliness as deprivation and pain.

There are all sorts of reasons why you may feel lonely and cut off from others. Divorce, bereavement, mental or physical health problems, disability, discrimination, unemployment and being a carer are all common causes of loneliness. And although moving to a new area, starting a new job or having a baby can be exciting and positive, people often find that new experiences can leave them feeling lonely.

You may have lots of social contact or be in a relationship or part of a family and still feel lonely.

Whatever the circumstances, the common experience is a feeling of being disconnected. You feel sad, alone and that either no one understands or that they misunderstand. Typically, when you're lonely, your mind shifts to ruminative cycles of the past and future that lend themselves to disconnection, leading to more loneliness.

But it is possible to manage loneliness. Mindfulness can help you to see that a sense of connection is always available to you, whatever your circumstances.