PART 6

SPECIAL CONDITIONS

I believe that we are here for each other, not against each other. Everything comes from an understanding that you are a gift in my life—whoever you are, whatever our differences.

John Denver

Mentoring is rarely the simple, cooperative experience the Jack and Tracy story has demonstrated. Mentoring often carries special challenges that test the skill of the mentor and try the patience of the protégé. Consider this section a special overlay for everything thus far covered in the book.

Two special conditions particularly affect the quality of the mentoring relationship: the players and the playground! In the chapter on unholy alliances, we will explore several peculiar player conditions: peer-to-peer mentoring, mentoring a person at a higher position, and mentoring a person who is sufficiently “different” to cause either of you anxiety. The most common differences are those at the core of most organizations’ quest for diversity—gender, race/ethnicity, and creed. In our discussion, “creed” will be used to cover a host of differences … an extreme conservative mentoring an extreme liberal, people of different sexual orientations, or a New York urbanite mentoring a South Georgia ruralite.

The core issue in unholy alliances is the fact that they may (not will) raise anxiety or apprehension in the mentor or protégé. When a special condition is discovered or acknowledged (it may be obvious), it is up to the mentor to raise the issue and attempt to gauge whether it is a source of anxiety. How that surfacing occurs can strongly influence the level of candor likely to be used in the joint exploration.

The second type of special condition concerns the playground—the setting or context in which the mentoring relationship happens. Three conditions will be dissected: mentoring in a fast-paced world, mentoring when mentor and protégé are in different locations, and mentoring with the support or assistance of a nonhuman tool or resource. The first two—called white-water mentoring and remote mentoring—are hallmarks of the contemporary work world.