Mentoring Long Distance: Remote Learning

Marshall sat in the back row of a large, dimly lit auditorium filled with managers from a software company being treated to the last million-slide presentation of the day. Earlier he had spoken to this audience about the myths, merits, and methods of mentoring and coaching. A bright young systems engineer manager sitting three people to his right passed Marshall a napkin with a handwritten note: “Do you have any suggestions on how I can mentor my people in Guam, Paris, and San Juan? They feel ignored and I feel guilty.”

With seventeen slides, polite applause, and the speaker’s closing remarks to go, Marshall had a little time to think. He can’t remember now much about what he said—she seemed satisfied—but he can remember being struck by the realization that this dilemma is now commonplace.

We live in an era of self-directed work. Widening spans of control, downsizing, and rising numbers of employees without direct supervision have compelled leaders to supervise more and more at arm’s length. Weak bosses feel relieved, their subordinates freed; but strong leaders can feel guilty and their subordinates ignored. The systems engineer’s dilemma is becoming familiar to more and more leaders: How do you mentor when you’re not there, and won’t be for a while? How do you mentor long distance?

Create a Buddy System on Site

When you’re not there, you’re not there. It’s important, therefore, to shore up other avenues for growth. A too-often-overlooked resource is the wisdom of peers. This doesn’t mean going back to the old “Watch Nellie” style of yesteryear. A true buddy system carefully matches protégé learning needs with the best colleague wisdom. To be effective, the buddy system must be based not just on availability but on purposeful matchmaking: personality matching, skill matching, and priority matching.

So how do I get Jane to mentor John on the Tillich technique when Jane and John are peers? First, hold Jane accountable for being supportive and available to mentor. Second, hold John accountable for seeking out Jane and learning the Tillich technique. Be sure to praise Jane for her mentoring, John for learning Tillich.

Easier said than done? Of course; isn’t it always? Buddy systems work when we spend the effort to make them work. They require resources—especially time. Telling Jane to mentor John is great, but not if you don’t cut Jane enough slack in her other duties.

Provide Learning Care Packages

Chip was working with a major hotel chain, teaching a part of their weeklong Lodging Leadership program. The participants were general managers from hotels around the world. It was lunchtime midweek, and Steve, one of the program participants from a hotel in New Orleans, received a large package. Many people gathered around as Steve opened the surprise. The package was filled with an assortment of items: a coffee mug, a favorite candy bar, a flash drive, a package of pencils, a note pad, an inexpensive pair of reading glasses, sleeping pills, playing cards. It was from all the employees in his hotel back home. He was visibly moved. The practicality of the items was irrelevant; he had been remembered—and valued! He was instantly reminded of his commitment to do his best for his people.

Part of mentoring long distance is letting the protégé experience your concern and caring in tangible ways. An article, a link to a helpful blog, a CD or book on a topic of interest or need, a special job aid, or an audiotape on a work-related topic can send a powerful message that the person is remembered—and valued! Give the protégé a subscription to a magazine important to his professional growth. Place him on the e-mail list for growth-oriented items coming from your office.

When you are on site with the protégé, make note of small items he may not have but would find useful. Stationery and supplies may be stockroom items that can be had for the asking; unique items may take a bit more thought and planning. Could he use a rubber stamp of his business address? Is there a user list to which you could helpfully add his name? How would the protégé react to getting a package of Post-it^® notes with his name printed on them? Care packages are limited only by your imagination; the best are those tailored to the protégé’s individual needs, preferences, and situation.

Find Surrogate Mentors

When you can’t be there in person, send an agent on your behalf. How many old B-grade war movies have you watched in which the hard-nosed general shows a surprising soft side by sending a valued expert in to assist? “The general asked me to drop by and see if I might be able to lend a hand!” It was usually a turning point in the movie. Learning agents are allies of growth; they can fill a gap, shore up a weakness, or simply lend confidence.

When considering people resources outside your organization, find an agent who has not just expertise but status. Providing the help of a person with both special resources and unique status can send a double message: I value you; I want to help you grow. It also can be a special treat for the agent you select.

Chip had the opportunity to consult a large northwestern bank as the designer and instructor of a two-day training program that would be taught to supervisors at various sites by a group of carefully selected managers. The program was designed and field-tested, and a series of train-the-trainer sessions was conducted. Linda was Chip’s client and senior project leader; Phil was one of the handpicked managers chosen to teach this new course. Phil had been very successful in the train-the-trainer sessions.

One day Linda called. “I need your help and will gladly pay you for the day,” she began. “Phil has a particularly difficult group next month on the other side of the state, and I think he’d feel a lot more confident if you could be there for his first day—sort of as his assistant.”

Phil did great! He really didn’t need any help. But the relief on his face was obvious when his “assistant” (Chip) arrived unexpectedly that morning an hour before his first participant appeared. It was fun watching Phil discover his own style for effectively teaching the new program.

Create a Self-Directed Learning Plan

“The most powerful contribution teachers can make to students,” human resource development guru Leonard Nadler has said, “is to help learners become their own teachers.” However, the gift of self-directed learning to the protégé can pose a threat to the mentor for whom letting go means feeling left out, unneeded, and undervalued. It takes great courage, compassion, and caring to let the bluebird teach itself to fly. Because it is counterintuitive to you as a caring mentor, you need to take steps to ease the transition.

Meet with your far-away protégé and establish a learning plan. (Tool #5 shows the key elements in a structured plan.) Check the protégé’s progress at longer and longer intervals—once a month, then once every two months, then quarterly, and so forth. The goal is to wean yourself out of the process, not just the protégé. Make sure the strategies for learning use resources available to the protégé. Protégés who take responsibility for their own learning will show greater motivation. The old saw “If the student hasn’t learned, the teacher hasn’t taught” does not apply to adults. (It doesn’t apply to children either, but that’s another story.)

Learning cannot always be tied to a full-time, full-access relationship. Today’s work world is far from stable, regular, or planned, but learning must continue if organizations are to adapt and compete. Tomorrow’s master mentors will be enablers, not experts; supporters, not smart persons. They will search beyond the old horizons to provide resources for protégés in Guam, Paris, and San Juan—as well as Galveston, Peoria, and Building Four.

What about E-Mentoring?

There was a time when mentoring via the cyberworld was a lot like a modern-day version of mentoring a pen pal—communication was via e-mail, making it a static, faceless conversation. The mobility, speed, and ease of the Internet as a tool for “interlogue” are clearly worthwhile assets. However, without the capacity to read nonverbal information, there is great potential for misinformation and misinterpretation. Without accurate dialogue, understanding can suffer.

One study at UCLA indicated that up to 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues. Another study found that the impact of a performance was determined 7 percent by the words used, 38 percent by voice quality, and 55 percent by the nonverbal communication.¹ Stripping the lion’s share of the effectiveness features from communications with customers puts an enormous burden on those factors that are left.

The good news is that e-mentoring has evolved to reliance on technology that allows face-to-face encounters. Now, using connections such as Skype and Facetime, the mentor and protégé can simulate a live meeting. However, a few suggestions can make e-mentoring a richer discussion.

Share background information before the online sessions. Since most e-mentoring sessions only show the other person’s face, each lacks the context of the setting that might provide helpful clues about the other person.

Pace the conversation slower than normal. Rapid conversation increases the likelihood of each person talking over the other and missing key information.

Use ear phones or speakers to increase the depth of the sound, enabling you to hear subtleties in your protégé’s voice.

Mentoring does not always happen in the secure routine of a stable work site. With the business environment becoming more chaotic, more globalized, and more dependent on technology, wise mentors learn to coach on the run, at a distance, using all the technology available to them. Granted, the pace of a protégé’s learning may be different from the pace of work, but the realities of speed and the uncertainties of permanent white water still color the learning experience. Protégés should not be denied the help of their mentor just because they are physically inaccessible. Wise mentors adjust to the realities of place. They also embrace the power of technology.