Serving the Breakfast of Champions

How does a mentor bestow a gift that by its nature reminds the protégé of his or her inability to see it? Below are five steps that can make giving feedback more powerful and more productive. The steps are numbered because the order is vital to their effectiveness.

Step 1: Create a Climate of Identification—“I’m Like You”

A key factor in giving feedback is the protégé’s embarrassment or awkwardness over some blind spot. Granted, embarrassment might at times be too strong a label for the protégé’s feelings, but at other times it is not strong enough. In any event, the mentor can enhance the protégé’s receptivity by creating a climate of identification. Make comments that have an “I’m like you”—that is, “not perfect or flawless” message. This need not be a major production—just a sentence or two to establish rapport.

Step 2: State the Rationale for the Feedback

In addition to overcoming embarrassment about the blind spot, the protégé will need to understand the context of the feedback. Help the protégé gain a clear sense of the reason or reasons the feedback is being given. Ensure that there is a clear perspective for making sense of the feedback. When you give feedback, you never want to make the protégé wonder, “Why is she telling me this?” or “How in the world can I benefit from this?”

Step 3: Assume You’re Giving Yourself the Feedback

Besides being clear and empathetic, feedback must be straightforward and honest. This does not mean it must be blunt or cruel; it means that the protégé should not be left wondering, “What did she not tell me that I needed to hear?” Trust is born of clean communication. Think of your goal this way: how would you deliver the feedback if you were giving it to yourself? Take your cues from your own preferences; give feedback as you would receive it.

Step 4: Focus on the Future, Not on the Past

The protégé can do little about the past. Granted, there can be lessons learned through reflection and review. But the primary focus of feedback should be on providing a keen understanding that creates insight that leads to a new future application. This concept is so important to the “attitude” of feedback giving that we have included below a section by Marshall on the power and practice of what he calls “feedforward.”

Step 5: Ask for What You Gave—Feedback

There is one action you can take that will both help you improve your mentoring and level the playing field in the protégé’s mind: ask for feedback from the protégé. Remember this relationship is designed to be a partnership—reciprocal learning. Let the protégé know that you want the feedback process to work both ways. From time to time the forward observer attached to Chip’s army infantry unit would ask the gunner for feedback on his FO technique. The gunner was given a shot at calling in a few corrections of his own, so to speak. It gave the infantry unit confidence to know that the dialogue was a two-way street.