Dealing with Your Incompetent Boss

by Amy Gallo

We all complain about our bosses from time to time. Some of us even consider it part of our job descriptions. But there’s a difference between watercooler griping and paralyzing frustration, just as there’s a clear distinction between a manager with a few flaws and one who is truly incompetent. So how can you handle your bad boss?

What the Experts Say

“Most people have had experience with someone who is incompetent, or at least unhelpful,” says Annie McKee, coauthor of Becoming a Resonant Leader: Develop Your Emotional Intelligence, Renew Your Relationships, Sustain Your Effectiveness. That’s because too many companies promote people for the wrong reasons. Whether your boss lacks technical or managerial ability, says Michael Useem, author of Leading Up, bad bosses sap motivation, kill productivity, and can make you want to run from the job screaming.

Although leaving is sometimes an option, it’s not the only one for coping with a bad boss. Consider these tactics first:

Understand Your Boss’s Incompetence

Before you declare your boss useless, check your bias and better understand what you’re seeing. “When you’re looking at your boss, the first thing you need to do before you judge is look at yourself,” says McKee. Many of us have blind spots when it comes to our bosses. Ask yourself if you’re jealous of her position in the organization or if you have a natural tendency to resist authority.

Also “. . . be cautious about your judgment until you collect all the evidence,” says Useem. Your boss may have stressors you don’t see or fully understand. “It’s very common for people to completely miss the pressures their bosses are under; partly because a good manager will buffer you from them,” says McKee. By learning more about your boss and developing empathy for him, you may reevaluate his competence. Even if you still conclude that he’s incapable, remember that he’s human. Don’t demonize him.

Ask Others for Help

Look to peers or people outside the organization for advice and a place to vent. This doesn’t mean indiscriminate moaning about your boss. Instead find confidants: a trusted colleague, a spouse, a mentor, or a coach. Explain what you’re seeing, how it’s affecting you and your work, and ask for advice. “This is not to conspire against your boss but to check your point of view,” says Useem. People outside the situation can give you a fresh perspective or offer new coping strategies.

Find a Way to Make It Work

Regardless of your boss’s incompetence, you need to work together to get your job done. Be creative in collaborating with her. Figure out where she excels and then find ways to pair your strengths with her weaknesses. For example, if your boss is a competent writer but falls apart in front of an audience, suggest ways you can help with her presentation to the executive team. Can you listen to her trial run? Or present portions of it, as a development opportunity for you?

When you request something from her—whether it’s input on a work plan, an introduction to a colleague, or her permission to reach out to a client—be specific about what you need. And do as much of the work for her as you can: Provide a draft e-mail or point out the three areas you’d like her to comment on. If she’s unable to help, suggest an alternative: Perhaps you can ask one of her peers or superiors for input or the introduction. Your goal is to help her solve the problem, not set up more situations where she’ll fail.

Step Up

Rather than give up on an ineffectual boss, focus on what you can do to make up the difference. If your boss fails to set priorities for the team, propose some that he can then approve or tweak. If meeting follow-up isn’t his strength, offer to send out the to-dos. Without harboring resentment, do what’s best for your team and the organization. Recognize that stepping up can be a growth opportunity; you may be taking on responsibilities someone at your level doesn’t usually have. And in the process, you gain the respect and appreciation of other higher-ups.

Develop Yourself

Sometimes incompetence can manifest itself in a lack of communication. You may have a manager who hasn’t given you a clear sense of your goals or even a concrete job description. These are essential to doing your job well and advancing your career, so take them on yourself. Write your own job description and articulate goals for the quarter or year. Send them to your boss and ask to review them together. In person, you can then confirm your priorities and understand her expectations. If she’s still unresponsive, keep a record of what you’ve proposed and work to meet the goals you laid out. It may be that she isn’t sure what you should be working on and needs you to just take action.

Take Care of Yourself

Working for an incompetent boss can be bad for your health. “There’s a lot of research on the negative psychological effects,” says McKee. She suggests creating boundaries that protect you from the emotional damage. We have a tendency to point to a bad boss and say, “He’s ruining my life.” But this ignores the fact that you have agency in the situation. “Once you become a victim, you cease to become a leader,” she says. Focus on what makes you happy about your job, not miserable. “We can come to work every day and pay attention to this horrible boss, or we can choose to pay attention to the people we are happy to see every day and the work we enjoy. We can choose which emotions we lean into,” says McKee.

Whenever possible, take on projects that allow you to spend time in other parts of the organization or with other leaders. Identify a mentor who can provide you with the feedback and instruction you aren’t getting from your boss. Find a way to let off steam, such as taking short breaks throughout the day. Look for humor in the situation, and try not to allow one person to ruin your day, your job, or your career.

Amy Gallo is a contributing editor at Harvard Business Review. Follow her on Twitter at @amyegallo.

Adapted from content posted on hbr.org on June 6, 2011