1. Selective listening.

Selective listening means that we are programmed to turn a deaf ear to certain topics or themes.

The danger in selective listening is that it can become habitual and unconscious: we become totally unaware that we only want to listen to certain people or a limited range of ego-boosting news, or that we are filtering and straining information.

2. Persistent interrupting.

Persistent interrupting is the most obvious badge of the bad listener.

Of course interrupting is an inevitable part of everyday conversation, springing from the fact that we can think faster than the other person can talk. So the listener can often accurately guess the end of a sentence or remark. The nuisance interrupter, however, either gets it wrong or else, even worse, they elbow in with a remark that shoots out the fact that they haven’t been listening to the half-completed capsule of meaning.

3. Avoiding the difficult or technical.

Such is our addiction to the clear, simple and vivid that none of us cares for the difficult, long and dull and we throw the towel in too soon.

But what is at issue is not merely someone’s ability as a speaker but our skill as a listener. If the path has to be tortuous and uphill, the courageous listener will follow. The fainthearted or lazy listener gives up at the first obstacle.

4. Criticizing the speaker’s delivery or visual aids.

In set-piece situations such as presentations, lectures or addresses, one way of expressing one’s non-listening ability is to fasten on the speaker’s delivery or the quality of their audio-visual aids. Some trick of pronunciation, an accent or impediment, involuntary movements or mannerisms: all these can be seized on as excuses for not listening to the meaning.

Alternatively the audio-visual aids, which like Hannibal’s elephants can be a terror to their own side, can go on the rampage and distract a weak listener. It is hard to listen when the delivery is bad and the audio-visual aids are threatening to get out of control, but such occasions do sort out the hearers from the listeners.