What you believe is possible has everything to do with what you make happen. There are some who believe that strangers are meant to stay that way, that people aren’t really available, don’t want to be bothered, and are shut down, shut off, and inaccessible. And since our beliefs precede our behavior—and therefore, our results—those who believe that people are not open or available find that people aren’t open or available. They create their own reality. They fail to make eye contact with strangers or pay attention to what others are doing. They surely don’t strike up conversations about a shared experience in the moment. And as a result, they also probably have a small and stagnant base of contacts, with an opportunity pipeline that trickles rather than gushes. And their options for personal, professional, and financial growth are probably limited.
Successful random connectors, on the other hand, firmly believe that just about anyone can be met—that if approached appropriately and respectfully, most people are willing to connect with others. Think about the times when you have made a connection with a stranger; you will realize that just below the surface, the person was quite open and willing.
Have you ever made a lighthearted comment to a stranger and had the person scowl at you? Have you ever made a remark to someone you didn’t know in an effort to befriend him or her only to be completely ignored? Most people who are out and about in public places—whether attending business meetings, shopping in malls, or traveling on trains or planes—find that only a thin veneer exists between their outer shell and a receptive response. Everyone has a smile, a laugh, or even a mutual sentiment waiting just below the surface that can be shared in that split second of common human experience.
You can meet just about anyone, literally. Even if the person is sitting three rows up from you, standing 20 feet away from you, leaving a place as you’re arriving, arriving as you’re leaving, or talking intensely on his or her cell phone—all you have to do is put yourself in physical proximity to that person, wait for the appropriate moment, and say something engaging.
People are often more accessible than they appear, so just because they don’t look like they’re waiting to meet you, they very well may be underneath. After all, most people don’t wear a sign on their head saying “Please talk to me! I can be your next customer or maybe help you find a better job.” But if you approach them gently, respectfully, and with curiosity, you may very well find that’s exactly the case. Believe you can meet anyone you want—and you can and will.