Chapter 3

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Making successful random connections is about taking the path least traveled and planting new seeds in new fields. That is, the more you present yourself to the world—and the more you consciously choose to expand into unchartered territory—the more people you will meet.

It’s a lot like the process of organic farming, which is based on getting the greatest concentration of nutrients from the soil, rather than planting over and over in the same earth. Although you can grow the vegetable in same ground time after time, you won’t get the optimal nutritional value. Successful random networking, like successful farming, comes to fruition when you seek new connections in high-quality fresh fields.

Unfortunately, we humans are creatures of habit, so we tend to plant in the same garden. We take the same routes, stop at the same places (at the same time of day!), sit in the same place at the bar, sit in the same pew at church (hopefully not in that order!), shop in the same stores, spend time with the same people, and attend the same events—and generally do what is easy and comfortable. Obviously, this won’t expand your world nearly as quickly as if you venture beyond the usual. Successful networkers constantly step out of their venue comfort zones, even—maybe especially—when it doesn’t come naturally.

Random networking takes effort. It requires that you discover and exploit that inner drive to push into the unpredictable, and often unknown, territory. But that’s where the fun is—in the excitement of meeting someone new, discovering new possibilities, in a place that’s off the beaten path.

If you sit in the same section of the train every day, stop at the same coffee shop, and go to your exhibit booth down the same convention hall aisle each day of the conference, you will probably see the same people. It’s easy. It’s comfortable. It’s safe. It’s predictable. But it isn’t going to expand your world.

Although random encounters are unplanned by definition, there are steps you can take to increase the likelihood of making these interactions successful. It requires some effort, energy, and even strategy, but mostly, it means that you put yourself in the right place at the right time. You arrange the circumstances in your favor and increase the chances of meeting the kind of people who can be of value to you, and you to them. Where there are people, there is potential. So put yourself around as many of the “right” ones as possible. Consider the following scenarios:

If you are at a restaurant that has individual tables and a larger community one, sit at the community one. There is a chance you will find yourself sitting next to someone who changes your life. I did this very thing the other day and ended up being joined by a group of women from one of the largest multilevel networking organizations in the country who were in town for a convention. They will be looking for a keynote speaker next year, and you can be certain I will do everything I can to make sure it’s me.

If you find yourself on an elevator and have the option to take it alone or hold the door so someone else can join you, hold the door. Yes, because it’s polite. And yes, because you may very well be traveling up or down with someone who can expand your business, your career, your income, or your life. I did it a few months ago and ended up sharing the elevator with someone who runs a hundred-million-dollar division of a consumer products company. We have spoken and exchanged a few e-mails since and are trying to find a time when we can get together again so that I can make a presentation about my services.

If you are taking a taxi and have the opportunity to share it with someone, do so. The last time I did that I drove into town with the guy who runs the entire strategy practice for the second largest consulting firm in the world.

If you are walking to a meeting room at a convention and can take a direct path or take a longer route that allows you to run into some people, take the long way.

If you always stand at the same place on the sidelines of the soccer field to watch your kids play, stand somewhere different once in a while. These people to whom you put yourself in proximity might very well end up representing the biggest opportunity of your lifetime.

Of course, arranging the circumstances isn’t just about being around as many people as you can; it’s about being around the right kinds of people. I try to get upgraded to first class when I travel by air as often as possible, because that’s where the senior execs are. My fiancé, a wedding planner and floral designer, makes a point of wandering through the bridal magazine section in the bookstore, striking up conversations with women who are flipping through bridal magazines. After all, they’re perfect prospects for her business. If you are a personal trainer, you would be wise to hang around from time to time in the nutritional supplement section of the supermarket.

There are always different ways to get where you’re going, and there will always be those new paths presented to you—the ones that don’t seem familiar or that don’t naturally attract you. But if you want to expand your contact base through random networking, you must take, as Robert Frost did, “the road not taken.”

During a recent trip to Narita, Japan, I took the hotel shuttle bus to a section of town that foreigners don’t typically visit. During the ride, I struck up a conversation with another hotel guest who turned out to be a director of operations for a large Asian shipping company. Only he and I were on the bus, and I could’ve kept to myself and avoided making conversation. But instead, I made a point of initiating conversation while en route, and because of that, I learned about his company, his marketplace, his competitors, and his sales force—all of which expanded my knowledge base and got me thinking about an Asian marketing strategy.

I often take the longest route possible when I travel, simply for the purpose of giving myself increased chances to meet more people. I recently flew to Seattle from Atlanta; although I could have taken a direct flight, I instead booked the trip through New York, then Minneapolis. This gave me two extra legs during which I could meet potential leads; I guess you’d say, making more connections to make more connections. And make them I did. On the first leg, I met a woman who runs a division of a multinational human resources consulting firm. We’re having lunch next week. On the second leg, I sat next to someone who started out as a long-shot random networking prospect—a college student. But I discovered over the course of our discussion that his school has what he considers a weak career placement department, so I plan to call the director to discuss how my company might be of assistance. I fully expect to turn at least one of these contacts into a profitable business relationship.

To expand your universe of possibilities and discover new opportunities, there are a number of “usual spots” you can vary:

• Restaurants
• Coffee shops
• Supermarkets
• Dry cleaners
• Transportation routes and modes
• Seating assignments
• Industry events
• Hotels
• Bank branches
• Car washes (yes, you can make random connections at car washes)
• Bookstores
• Anywhere else you are likely to find those who are in need of your products, services, or capabilities

When it comes to random networking, turning uncertainty into opportunity is the name of the game. Make meeting new people a goal. Decide you will meet someone new every day and create the space in your daily activities for putting yourself where others are.