WRITING FOR IMPACT 4
This chapter will focus on written communication.
Jack had worked late into the night. He knew his boards were stunning, and Jack was confident that the jury, three esteemed designers from Chicago, would judge his project as the best in the class. In his confidence, Jack decided that the written summary, a required component of the project, was not important. Consequently, he spent little time crafting it.
When Jack failed even to receive an honorable mention, he politely pulled one of the jurors aside and asked why. “Your design was interesting,” she said, “but your statement was lacking a coherent point, and your writing was riddled with errors.” Then she told him, “Your writing is a reflection of your ideas.”
INTRODUCTION
Good writing draws us in. We understand it and identify with it. As we read along, we hear the rhythm of its words in our heads, while our minds construct mental pictures of its unfolding events. On the other hand, bad writing leaves us bored, confused, or annoyed — or perhaps asleep. The point? Good writing engrosses us in a message; bad writing causes us to abandon it. If the message were about you (or your work), which would you choose?
While writing is often a core component in design communication — necessary in cover letters, project proposals and narratives — many young design professionals fail to recognize its value, choosing instead to shy away from what they see as a burden. But we must accept our responsibilities as design storytellers; our calling requires us to use all of the tools at our disposal to inspire our audience. If our words leave them confused or uncaring, we have been careless. We have failed to make our writing clear and potent. Writing is hard work, but great designers have a story to tell, and we owe it to our audience (and our ideas) to sculpt, revise, and refine our writing. This chapter will help you do so.
WHY DOES WRITING MATTER IN DESIGN?
Design communication is a wash with written messages. As designers, we use our words to describe our work, ourselves, and to craft our talking points. Storyboards reflect these messages on a broad level, but our words will define them. Whenever you begin writing, start by recalling what it is you are trying to say and why. Then, draft a simple outline based on these answers. This outline should serve as your aim, but not your burden to bear. So don’t worry about using the proper Roman numerals.
IN THE BEGINNING (LAUNCH)
With a written story, it will be especially important that readers know why they should spend their precious time with your words. The beginning of your story should give them this answer. In journalism, they call this the lead, and it is incredibly important. A lead has to garner the attention of the audience — failure to do so means that they will stop reading. Some leads work quickly to do this by enticing the reader through humor or surprise; others exert more of a slow, steady pull — building over the course of several paragraphs. There is no definitive length for a good lead; just remember to nudge the reader’s curiosity. A little intrigue will leave them wanting more.
IN THE MIDDLE (LOAD)
After the audience is hooked, you can relax your tone as your efforts move from entertaining the audience to informing them, essentially loading in a bit of context and detail. This is the time to provide your readers with enough information to set the stage, but not so much that every aspect is revealed. As you write each sentence, ask yourself what the readers need to know next. Remember that the goal is to keep their interest so that they want to know how the story is resolved.
THE END (LANDING)
There are many ways to end a written design story; the key is knowing when to do so. A well-written story does not ask its readers to slog along any longer than necessary. As you write each sentence, continue to ask yourself what readers need to know next. If nothing else is needed, end the story — make your point and bring the readers home. You can opt for summative endings by concluding with a sentence that is unexpected or refreshing. Or your ending can refer back to the story’s beginning, which can help convey a sense of resolution. Author William Zinsser calls this an echo. Quotes can also be a great way to end a written story since they can add finality, wit, and a humanizing element.1 Whichever way you choose to end the story — aim to make it memorable.
FIGURE 4.0
Considerations for written stories
ELEMENTS OF GOOD WRITING
Good writing is cohesive, concise, and clear. At the same, time it conveys the author’s voice with an appropriate tone. Consider the following strategies when writing a design story:
COHESIVE WRITING
Inconsistency can be distracting to readers. Yet, cohesive writing can be difficult to achieve, especially in longer passages that are written over a period of time. To unify your writing, consider how you want to address your readers and share your content according to predetermined guidelines.
To help guide your writing, answer these questions in advance.
• As a writer, will you take an involved or impartial stance?
• Will you be an active participant in the events (writing in first person) or an objective observer (writing in third person)?
• What pronoun (he, she, they, it, we) & tense (past, present, future) will you use?
ECONOMICAL WRITING
“Writing is like a good watch — it should run smoothly and have no extra parts,” wrote Zinsser.2 Similarly, designers are taught that unnecessary lines in a technical drawing can cause confusion. The same can be said about extraneous words in a sentence. This means you should write with economy in mind; few words make a more direct point. At times, it’s tempting to defy this principle with common expressions, but good writers aim to find the shortest path to the same meaning, which makes their ideas clear, and their writing potent.
AVOID UNNECESSARY WORDS
If your sentences still convey the same meaning without several words eliminate them.
| Instead of… | Consider |
| She is the person who | she |
| In a quick manner | quickly |
| His upbringing was an unusual one. | His upbringing was unusual. |
AVOID UNNECESSARY PHRASES
Similarly, if your ideas can be conveyed without the use of a phrase, eliminate it too. Some common offenders include:
Who is, which was, the fact that, in order
AVOID HEDGING
Timidities such as “a bit,” “a little,” and “sort of” are unnecessary qualifiers that conceal your voice and dilute your message. This is known as hedging, and doing so can make it seem as though you don’t fully stand behind your message.3 Constraining your language behind hedges not only adds words, but it cheapens your ideas, causing you to be less convincing. So if you know your words to be true, write with conviction and avoid tame, dull, noncommittal language.
| Instead of | The curved form is, perhaps, a bit out of place. |
| Consider | The curved form is out of place. |
CLARITY
It is critical that readers understand your writing. This is done by clustering similar information and reducing areas of ambiguity.
CLUSTERING INFORMATION
Consider the following tactics to organize your content:
Parallel Construction
For readers to understand that ideas are similar, offer them in a similar manner. This is called parallel construction.
| Instead of | In the past, consumers had only a few choices for materials, while now numerous choices are available. |
| Consider | In the past, consumers had few material choices; now they have many. |
Place Related Words Together
Place titles alongside their corresponding items.
| Instead of | Christopher Alexander, in his book, A Pattern Language, discusses ways to work with others. |
| Consider | In his book A Pattern Language, Christopher Alexander discusses ways to work with others. |
Pronoun Placement
Relative pronouns such as who, whom, whoever, and whichever should follow their antecedent.
| Instead of | This is an image of Dieter Rams, an industrial designer, who coined ten principles for good design. |
| Consider | This is an image of industrial designer, Dieter Rams, who coined ten principles for good design. |
Modifier Placement
Modifiers are the words that change or clarify another word’s meaning. They should be placed next to the word they modify.
| Instead of | He only proposed two ideas. |
| Consider | He proposed only two ideas. |
REDUCING AMBIGUITY
To reduce uncertainty, the reader should always feel as though they have a sense of orientation and an understanding of the relationships between ideas. This is especially critical when presenting contradictory information. If ideas conflict, prime the reader for this change so that they don’t become confused or frustrated. Alert them with transition words such as “But,” “Yet,” and “However” at the beginning of the sentence or with correlative expressions like “either,” “both,” or “not only” near the terms they are referencing.
| Instead of | The idea gave new perspective and it came at a good time. |
| Consider | The idea was both fresh and timely. |
Zinsser stated that it is okay to start a sentence with “But” 4 (even if our elementary teachers told us not to). “But” announces a total contrast with the previous sentence so that the reader is ready for the change.
VOICE
A writer’s voice can be the difference between sounding confident or cowardly. In writing, voice stems from whether your sentences have the subject act (active voice) or be acted upon (passive voice). An active voice is seen as more direct and dynamic than a passive one. To write in an active voice, consider how to compose your sentences so that the subject precedes the action. Essentially, they do something, instead of having something done to them.
| Instead of | The sketch was drawn by Jeff. |
| Consider | Jeff drew the sketch. |
TONE
The tone of your writing depends on your goals and your audience. If the audience is unfamiliar, it may be best to use formal writing. If you know the audience, or you are confident that they will appreciate an informal tone, casual writing may be more appreciated. Whichever you decide, keep your tone consistent throughout your writing. Do your homework about the client, but don’t lose sight of what makes you most comfortable. You want to be authentic — just be aware that your audience may perceive your writing differently than you may expect.
Positive Tone
Aim to write in a positive tone, meaning eliminate the word “not” whenever possible, and avoid double negatives.
| Instead of… | Consider |
| Did not remember She did not pay attention… He needn’t refrain… |
forgot She ignored… He should keep… |
HUMOR
We like to be around those who can make us laugh. Beyond adding levity, humor encourages readers to let their guard down, potentially causing them to be a little more receptive to your message. In short, humor is a valuable tool, though difficult to master since it’s subjective — not everyone finds the same things funny. However, we don’t have to be the next Kevin Hart or Kate McKinnon to master the tools of the trade, which include mockery through satire or parody, irony, and sheer nonsense.5 The key is control and connection.
Forced humor often feels contrived and lame. Humor works best when it’s understated, so control your use. Let the readers see the humor in your words for themselves.
Humor also relies on connectedness, meaning things are funny because we can identify with the situation. The best humor is based on aspects of life that we can all relate to, such as eating, working, or growing up. Zinsser wrote that humorists exert a “special angle of vision,”6 since they can find the humor in seemingly mundane situations. So, it may be worthwhile to craft a zinger; just don’t tell your readers to laugh.
WORDS
Words are a writer’s greatest tool.7 To make the most of this tool, make your words work for you. Each one should support your purpose, suit your personality, and signify meaning. Consider the following:
SELECT SHORT WORDS
Short words often have the greatest impact. If you find this hard to believe, consider that 71% of the words in Gettysburg Address were just one syllable.8
So, why must we “attempt,” when we can simply “try”? Why should we provide “assistance,” when we can just “help”?
If there are shorter words to convey the same meaning — use them.
CONSIDER THE RHYTHM OF YOUR WORDS
When selecting words, listen to how they sound.
Are words such as on a beat?
Do they make use of alliteration (i.e., start with the same letter)?
These stylistic devices can make the reading more enjoyable.
AVOID JARGON
While jargon may make us feel clever, our readers will often resent our pretentiousness. Avoid the temptation to use jargon. If you need to use a specific word that may be unfamiliar to the audience, explain it within the sentence.9
Example
The room was to have an exposed plenum, meaning that since there was no ceiling, all of the pipes and wires would be visible.
AVOID CHEAP & EMPTY WORDS
Cheap and empty words fail to convey meaning. They often leave your writing feeling stale, and your message buried.
Check that your use of the following words is necessary to convey meaning: very, literally, like, certainly, or just
AVOID BUZZ WORDS
Avoid overused words, which can make you seem unoriginal and superficial.
AVOID THE TRAPPINGS OF MISUSED WORDS
The English language is rife with words that are used incorrectly — far too many to cover here. Below are some of the most common culprits.
EFFECT vs. AFFECT
Effect is a noun, whereas affect is a verb.
The effect is clear. The audience was affected by the film.
WHOM Whom is often incorrectly substituted for who. A simple rule of thumb is that:
“Who”works best when using the pronoun “he” or “she.” Whom works best when “him” or “her” is the pronoun.
LITERAL
Literal (or literally) can often be avoided; it should never be used to support an overstatement, such as “She literally nailed the project.”
RESPECTIVELY
Respectively can often be removed; it’s only necessary in more technical writing when it is clarifying relationships.
SENTENCES
If words are your tools, then sentences are your toolbox. Compose them so that their meaning is clear. Consider the following:
REMOVE UNNECESSARY WORDS
“Clutter is the disease of American writing,” wrote Zinsser.10 It’s worth stating again that sentences should only contain what is necessary to convey the intended meaning. Anything beyond that is clutter, which diminishes the power of your message.
Review each sentence several times, hunting for unnecessary words. When one is spotted, try reading your sentence without the word. If the meaning remains, hit the delete key.
USE A SIMPLE SYNTAX
The clearest and most powerful sentences follow a straightforward syntax. That is, they make their points succinctly using a simple sentence structure.
If your sentence contains multiple commas and semicolons, it is likely too long.
PLACE KEYWORDS AT THE BEGINNING OR END
To avoid burying your key points, ensure that they are emphasized by placing them either at the beginning or the end of your sentence.
LEVERAGE PUNCTUATION
Punctuation can change the meaning and cadence of your sentences. Ensure that the punctuation stresses the points you want emphasized (see pages 68–69).
CLICHÉS & IDIOMS
STUBBORN SENTENCES
Some sentences simply don’t work well. Either they are too long, unclear, or they are choppy. So, what should a writer do when facing a stubborn sentence?
Answer: break it up or remove it altogether — chances are it was trying to cover too much material and is not worth your trouble.
EXERCISE 4.0 SHUNNING SLOPPY SENTENCE SYNTAX
Rewrite the following sentence 3 different ways using the guidelines above.
Embodying a palpable sense of complexity and purpose, the design for the hotel exudes a wide-ranging repertoire of lavish services amidst unrestrained amenities which sport ornate surfaces and masterful forms.
PARAGRAPHS
If sentences are your toolboxes, then paragraphs are what you’re building. Paragraphs express an idea, thus helping the audience to know how you’ve organized your thoughts.11
Short paragraphs appear more inviting since the negative space around the paragraph gives the eye an area to rest. However, readers will interpret paragraph breaks as a place to pause, so don’t lose momentum by ending paragraphs amidst a train of thought.
In most cases, paragraphs can be structured similarly to below:
TOPIC SENTENCE
The first sentence introduces a new point or refers back to the previous paragraph.
EXPLANATORY SENTENCES
The following sentences explain or develop your introductory statement.
SUMMARY SENTENCE
The final sentence is the conclusion of the thought.
PARAGRAPH LINKING STRATEGIES
Each paragraph should build upon and amplify the last.12 To aid the overall flow of your writing, consider how to link one paragraph to the next. In general, begin each paragraph with a lead, or an introductory sentence.13 If the paragraph follows another, consider how this introductory sentence will help the reader transition to this new idea.
Linking paragraphs can be done in several ways, such as:
• Restating the last paragraph’s summary sentence in a new way
• Contrasting the previous paragraph against a new idea
• Giving a specific instance that illustrates the previous paragraph
• Adding a transition word or phrase to start the paragraph, such as: therefore, for the same reason, or at the same time.
RHYTHM
Short sentences tend to sound sharp, while longer sentences are lulling. When structuring your paragraphs, Zinsser suggested that “all sentences should not move at the same plodding gait.”14 So, as you write a paragraph, review its tempo. Not all sentences in a paragraph should follow the same syntax and contain the same number of words.
To avoid lifeless sounding writing, consider adding some variety to the structure of your sentences by:
• Changing one of the sentences to a question
• Reversing the order of a sentence
• Substituting one of the key words for another that is fresh or surprising
ENDING
The last sentence of a paragraph warrants special attention. Its job is to not only end a thought, but also to entice the reader toward the next paragraph. As Zinsser said, “Make the reader smile and you’ve got him for at least one more paragraph.”15
VENUES FOR DESIGN WRITING
There are many venues for design writing, including proposals, letters, image captions, talking points, design concept statements, and bios.
DESIGN CONCEPT STATEMENTS
Think of a design concept statement as a rallying cry for project stakeholders. These statements should provide readers with a sense of your creative vision, and how your design intent speaks to the users’ needs and desires. The best design concept statements succinctly discuss physical, functional, and experience-driven attributes of the design.
Concept statements are generally short but aspirational.
EXERCISE 4.1 Design Concept Statement
A design concept statement is an important opportunity to share your intent for a project. These statements provide clarity and direction while expressing the ideas behind the project, including how users will experience the design, its forms and aesthetics, and any important functional characteristics. To generate a design concept statement consider the following:
1 List the following attributes of a previous or upcoming design project (if you don’t have one available, use a magazine article to the surmise attributes of a professional project):
• characteristics of the intended users
• concept and its appropriateness to the users
• forms & aesthetics
• user experience
• important functional characteristics
2 Write at least two design concept iterations.
3 Review these options with a collegue. Have them consider each statement’s ability to pique reader interest and explain the intent of the design. Be sure to have them look for errors, and help you decide which option is best.
4 Select the preferred statement, and revise per your reviewer’s comments.
5 Be sure to proof read the final version another time, and if possible, have someone else proof the statement as well.
BIOS
A personal bio is an incredibly valuable tool for networking and career development. A bio helps readers acknowledge who you are, by giving them to get a sense of “you” beyond your resume. Many designers hesitate to write a bio for fear of sounding pompous or self-centered. But don’t wait until you need one to write your bio. If you are pressed for time, chances are your bio will not be the best representation of you and your potential.
EXAMPLE
STEPS TO GENERATING YOUR BIO.
Start With Your Values.
Generate a list of your core values.
Identify Your Audience.
Keep in mind who will be reading the bio and your relationship to them.
Review Parameters.
If you’re writing your bio for a specific purpose, be sure to check for any restrictions such as length and desired content.
List Key Achievements.
Generate a list of your key academic and professional achievements.
Depending on the audience, you may want to list hobbies or personal anecdotes.
List Characteristics.
Think about how people have described you in the past.
Determine Writing Style.
Consider whether you will be writing in first or third person, and be consistent with your style.
A personal bio is an increasingly important asset in professional networking. The best bios reflect the author but are tailored to their specific audiences. Depending on where it will be shared, your bio may need to be of different lengths and levels of formality. Some sites have a more informal slant. In these venues, it’s likely appropriate to share hobbies and personal anecdotes. Still, other venues are aimed at business professionals, so formal business writing (highlighting your accomplishments over personal characteristics) may be more relevant. At the same time, some venues will have stringent restrictions on length, whereas, on your own website, you can add more detail to your statement.
While bios naturally evolve and change, remember that once you post something online, that message can live on forever (even if deleted), so avoid inflammatory or inappropriate statements at all costs.
EXERCISE 4.2 Personal Bio
Bios crafted at the last minute can turn out dull, lifeless, and even erroneous. With this in mind, many design professionals keep several bios handy so that they are available for last-minute speaking engagements or career opportunities. This exercise will help you to do the same.
1 Refer back to the Point of View questions (page 35). What themes emerge from your answers?
2 Recall what makes you interesting, both professionally and in life. How do these aspects highlight your positive attributes for the given audience?
3 Using the steps from the previous page, generate bios for the following scenarios:
• Informal Social media (160 characters max)
• Formal Social media (160 characters max)
• Professional Web page (i.e., short-form bio, approximately 200 words)
• Informal Web page (i.e., short-form bio, approximately 200 words)
• Formal Application package (i.e., long-form bio, approximately 500 words)
4 Review your bios with as many people as you can. Ask them if the content reflects you in a positive, but truthful manner, and have them look for any errors.
5 Revise your iterations per their comments.
MECHANICS OF WRITING
Yes, mechanics matter. It may have been a while since your last composition class, so below are some things to remember when writing:
VERBS
Use active verbs. Zinsser suggested that the difference between an active verb and passive verb lies in clarity and vigor; passive verbs drain the reader’s energy and add confusion, while active verbs “push the sentence forward.”16 So, don’t set up a firm — launch it. The difference is propelling the reader forward, or sheepishly dragging them along.
| Instead of… | She was seen by Todd. |
| Consider | Todd saw her. |
ADVERBS & ADJECTIVES
Good writing is lean and confident.17 However, some words can add unhealthy fat, and they can be tempting to writers who want to make their sentences seem more interesting. To avoid sentences that are longer than they need to be, remove any unnecessary adverbs and adjectives.
For instance, adverbs that describe verbs with obvious information should be deleted. There is no reason to say things like “quickly launching” — it is unlikely one would launch slowly. Similarly, avoid using adjectives to describe something that the reader would already know, like “heavy stone,” since we have yet to unearth a lightweight stone.
PUNCTUATION
When determining which forms of punctuation are most appropriate, consider their influence on readers. Does the punctuation cause them to pause, halt, or direct their attention where they should?
PERIOD
It has been said about the period, “Most writers don’t reach for it soon enough.”18 If a sentence is long or clunky, use the period to break it up.
SEMICOLON
A semicolon causes the reader to a pause or halt.19
My drawings are due tomorrow; I simply have to work on them tonight.
EXCLAMATION POINT
Exclamation points often add unnecessary fluff. If you construct your sentences in a way that emphasizes your point naturally, you should rarely need to use an explanation point.
DASH
The dash is used in two ways. The first is to amplify or justify what was said in the first part of a sentence.20 The second use of the dash is to set apart a parenthetical thought within a longer sentence.
“Our clients laughed — they had been thinking the same thing — so we started to sketch out the idea together.”
COLONS
Use a colon after a complete sentence to explain or clarify a point.
The client had two choices: stop the project or move forward as planned.
CONTRACTIONS
Contractions can be controversial. In fact, you may have had an English teacher suggest that you avoid them altogether. But, Zissner suggested that contractions convey a warm, approachable, and informal tone,21 which may be very suitable for your audience, goals, and content. Go with your instincts.
COMMA
Commas can be one of the most confusing types of punctuation simply because they have so many uses. Below are some general rules:22
COORDINATING CONJUNCTION
Place a comma before the coordinating conjunctionsand, but, for, nor, or, so, or yet, if they introduce an independent clause (i.e., clauses that have their own subjects and verbs).
The design has changed many times, yet the original sketches have disappeared.
If the clauses are not independent (i.e., they share the same subject), no comma is needed.
I knew the design had changed but couldn’t find the original sketches.
If there is no conjunction, a semicolon or two sentences would be more appropriate.
I knew the design had changed. Peter was searching for the original sketches.
ENCLOSE PARENTHETICAL EXPRESSIONS
Place a comma when you have a thought within a thought.
The best way to see Chicago’s skyline, if you don’t mind the wind, is by a river cruise.
Commas are sometimes used after single words, if readers should interpret a considerable pause.
The room was loud. However, she continued to work.
IN A SERIES OF THREE OR MORE TERMS
In a list, the last comma does cause controversy, with some sources saying it should and shouldn’t be used. Be consistent.
I knew orange, blue, and teal were colors they disliked.
AT APPOSITIVES
Place a comma when you are providing an appositive, or title for a subject.
Nancy, our first client, stopped by the office each week.
AT NON-RESTRICTIVE CLAUSES
Commas should be used at non-restrictive clauses which provide extra information about the subject.
The client, who was initially terrified, grew to love the idea.
WHEN ATTRIBUTING QUOTES
Nancy said, “I dislike orange, blue, and teal.”
FREESTANDING WORDS AT THE BEGINNING OF A SENTENCE
Yes, the final design had changed a great deal.
BETWEEN TWO ADJECTIVES THAT DESCRIBE THE SAME NOUN
I was worried that the dark, dank room was my new office.
TO OFFSET NUMBERS AND ADDRESSES
The budget is $1,423,721.
IDEAS FOR WRITING
Considering that we can read faster than we can speak,23 written communication is essential in design. To become a better writer, write. Look everywhere for material to write about. Write descriptions about things you have observed, the people you have encountered, and your sources of inspiration. Writing doesn’t always have to be a formal activity; consider keeping a journal or writing about your projects.
When you have a topic at hand, collect more references than you’ll likely use, so that you’ll have ample material. With some time and practice, writing can become an asset rather than a burden.
EDITING & REWRITING
Your first draft could be unclear, illogical, verbose, clunky, pretentious, boring, or any number of other things that might cause readers to turn away. Given the importance of your task, rewriting should not be viewed as a burden, but your opportunity to reshape, refine, and tighten your message.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF DURING REWRITES
SEQUENCE
• Is the flow of ideas logical?
• Does the order build momentum and retain the reader’s interest?
FLOW
• Do your words, sentences, and paragraphs maintain a good rhythm?
CLARITY
• Is your writing cohesive?
• Is your writing clear?
PURPOSE
• Is your product suitable to your goals?
Writing late at night in the studio is a practice rife with potential errors. When you’re tired or rushed, chances are you’ll make mistakes. These flaws can represent the quality of your work. So, when you’re ready, be sure to have others review your work. Their perspectives are invaluable and their feedback will not only help you improve the piece at hand but also help you to hone your writing skills.
EXERCISE 4.3 REWRITES
The words of others can be used to help you develop your own skills.
Read the first 2–3 paragraphs of a feature article in a design magazine.
Determine the writer’s tone & tense. Then highlight any unnecessary words.
Rewrite these paragraphs at least two different ways, retaining the meaning. Experiment with changing the tone and rearranging the sequence.
Do the same exercise for the article’s last paragraph. This time, explore techniques like using a quote, providing a fresh summary sentence, or echoing the first paragraph.
Share both the original and your revised versions with a peer (avoid letting them know which was the original piece). Discuss which version each of you feels is most successful.
THINGS TO AVOID
Some sins are certain to sidetrack readers from your message. Consider the following:
DON’T LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR VOICE.
While it’s important to be professional, don’t forget the sound of your own voice. Remember that you bring something unique and original to your stories. Be authentic and don’t alter your voice so much that it’s no longer yours.
DON’T APPEAR CONDESCENDING BY STATING THE OBVIOUS.
Chances are your readers are competent professionals, and they might feel as though you are patronizing them if they are told what to think. So don’t annoy readers by stating the obvious. Let them draw their own conclusions about the information. This means avoiding terms like “predictably,” “surprisingly,” and “of course.”
At the same time, ensure that it’s easy for readers to derive the correct meaning from your words. Have several others read your passage and ask them if anything was unclear.
AVOID OVERSTATEMENTS & HYPERBOLE.
Don’t trap the truth behind overstatements and hyperbole. “There is nothing more interesting than the truth.”24 Exaggerations tend to bury the beauty of your material, concealing its quirkiness, drama, or any number of other important qualities that your audience deserves to know about.
Thinly veiled overstatements can also damage your credibility, and once the audience catches on to your exaggeration, they will scrutinize everything else about you and your message. So while statements like “the classroom looked like an atomic bomb had struck,” may be easy and convey a very vivid mental picture, they’re not worth the risk to your credibility.
DON’T CONCEAL THE TRUTH.
Your credibility depends on your transparency. While you may inadvertently use vague or inappropriate language, the danger is that the audience may feel as though you’re trying to mislead them. Avoid vague conceptual sentences that lack a person or an action. Renowned professor Edward Tufte refers to this an “effect without a cause.”25 For example “the common reaction is crying” gives the reader no one to visualize performing the action. It would be far better to say “most people cry.” Sentences lacking a subject are at best, vague, and at worst, creepy, so give your audience someone to identify with whenever possible.
Euphemisms conceal the truth by hiding it behind softer language. For instance, layoffs become “corporate downsizing,” or “price increases” become “market rate adjustments.” Unless the term is recognizable and clearly understandable, don’t use it.
DON’T SETTLE.
Don’t settle for your first draft, or your second and third, for that matter. Rewriting is “where the game is won or lost.”26 While we may love our first drafts dearly, since they represent a considerable amount of time and emotional effort, they are often clunky, unclear, and riddled with errors. So don’t treat them as though they are your first-born child. Do-overs are okay and encouraged. Treat writing not as a burden, but as an opportunity to reshape, refine, and tighten your message. Your audience will thank you for it.
SUMMARY
Writing is central to design storytelling. While novice designers may not always be enthusiastic about writing, design professionals understand its value, using their words to express themselves and their ideas.
To get started, ask yourself what it is you are trying to say and why. At Launch, your readers will want to know what’s in it for them; in essence, what will they get out of reading the material? You can pique a reader’s interest with humor, surprise, or by building tension.
Remember that each paragraph needs to encourage readers to move to the next. To do so, keep the reader curious. Once you have gained their attention, your focus can shift from entertaining to informing them. Finally, strive for a powerful ending so that your readers will remember what you have said, which can be done with an unexpected or refreshing sentence, echoing back to the beginning of the story, or by sharing a witty quote.
Convincing stories are cohesive, concise, and clear. When authoring your own design story, give thoughtful consideration to your words, sentence composition, and paragraph flow. Poor mechanics can quickly distract readers from your story, so also consider your syntax and punctuation carefully. Practice writing with design concept statements and personal bios. Developing these pieces before you need them can make the process less stressful, and result in a better outcome.
Whatever you’re writing, remember to avoid overstatements, stating the obvious, and settling for your first draft. And remember, the best way to improve your writing is by writing.
FOR CONSIDERATION
As designers, we need to be critical consumers of information, carefully assessing what we read so that we are not misled. At the same time, we need to become better writers, and to do so, we need to examine the work of others.
• Visit your favorite design blog or design magazine.
• Read through 3–4 of its latest entries.
• Can you find any of the sins from the previous page?
• If so, consider what could you change to improve the statements.
TERMS
| appositives | hyperbole | non-restrictive clauses |
| cliché | idiom | parallel construction |
| conjunction | jargon | syntax |
| euphemism | modifier |
APPLICATION 4.0
The aim of this book is to help you design a story for an upcoming project.
Consider the following:
