MENTAL TRAPS

We all have blocks from time to time. Our friends or an observer can easily tell us what we need to do. But when stuck in a mental trap being told doesn’t necessarily make a difference, sometimes we need to realise it for ourselves or be coached to see it for ourselves. In the example above, Alison was stuck in a mental trap; her colleagues and boss told her to prioritise her work and communicate what she was and was not able to do. Alison couldn’t really see it and was stuck in the trap of having to do it all. She was attempting to get everything done even when it was not possible, or desirable, to do it all. Here are common mental traps that people get into:

False economy of time

We all get trapped here from time to time, when we think we don’t have enough time in the day to get everything done. Rather than take a realistic view of what we will get done and what we won’t, we forgo all the things that will help us be more productive. We don’t take our breaks, we eat lunch at our desk, we skip going to the gym and we work late without taking a break. We throw out all the things we know we should be doing, thinking falsely that by just putting more hours in we’ll get everything done. What happens is we become a lot less productive and overworked. This is what I call the false economy of time. It is like a hamster wheel and even when you get off, it is easy to get back into it again. Just remember, when you start thinking like this it is the reptilian brain thinking not the higher brain. Taking the time to plan correctly and keep to a schedule will help you relate to the reality of how long things take to get done.

Fear

Our emotions are another derailment or obstacle. Human beings are naturally wired for fear. Our reptilian brain which operates unconsciously is on a constant lookout for threats. This is why we have survived as a species; our survival mechanism becomes activated in less than a second. The impact is that our brains are always alert for incidents that endanger our survival – not just physically but also the survival of our ego and status. Fear helps us survive. The only problem is we don’t do our best work when in fear.

Examples of how we can be ruled by fear are when we work late because we fear that we will be seen as not pulling our weight. In meetings we are afraid to voice our opinions because of fear of what someone might think. We are afraid to leave work on time because we are frightened of our bosses.

Our environment and culture fuel our fears, most of the material on the news or in newspapers is fear-based. There will often be people who will project their fear onto you, such as parents, colleagues, bosses or friends. Whether the fear is justified or not, it is important to notice how the world is wired for fear, and keep some objectivity on it.

Dealing with fear

The first step is to recognise that fear affects a lot of our decisions. When feeling fear the first thing to do is stop and look at what the fear is about and see if it is rational or irrational. Just ask yourself, what is it I’m afraid of?

Anger

There are a few forms of anger. Overt anger doesn’t go down well in an Anglo-Saxon work environment but there are other forms of more subtle anger, such as passive aggressiveness, impatience and frustration. Anger takes many forms. There is nothing wrong with getting angry now and again, but if we have too much anger we set off the same physical responses as when getting stressed. You’ll notice your heart rate goes up for a start. We are engaging the fight-or-flight response. Hidden anger is usually a fear of loss or missing out on something. Whenever you feel angry, examine what is underneath the anger. What is the underlying fear?

World view

The beliefs we have about ourselves are our context for ourselves and our lives. The world view deeply affects how we act. Often these beliefs are subconscious. For example, in Alison’s story we identified the negative belief of not being able to say no. She believed she had to do everything that was asked of her.