284 / COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEAM
Listening to your team
Learning when to listen
Listening is a skill you acquire
naturally, but can improve upon if
you’re motivated to do so. The first
step toward becoming a better
listener is, surprisingly, to stop: you
need to stop talking, stop trying to
carry on more than one conversation,
and stop interrupting. Let the other
person speak. As others are talking,
allow yourself to respond cognitively
and emotionally, taking in the factual
information and the tone of their
remarks, without responding. Then
ask carefully thought-out questions
that will clarify what they have said
and reassure you of its basis in fact.
Studies show that adults now spend more than half of their daily
communication time listening to someone else speak. As a manager,
being able to listen effectively and understand others is at the heart
of creating a team that performs to the best of its ability.
BEWARE WISHFUL
THINKING
Just because you want to
hear something doesn’t
mean it is what the speaker
is actually saying. It is all
too easy to fall into the trap
of selective hearing, so
make sure that you listen to
everything that the speaker
is telling you.
Tip
of what you say to others is
not absorbed or remembered
by them. How can you be sure
that they are receiving the
most important parts of
your message?
75%
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Getting the message
Start by trying to see things from the
speaker’s point of view, and let your
actions demonstrate this. Show interest
with your body language: look the
speaker in the eyes and maintain an
open and nonthreatening posture.
Give the speaker physical signs of
Listening regularly to difficult
material to hone your
listening ability
Giving your full and undivided
attention to the speaker
Listening to the argument in the
speaker’s terms, and in the order
he or she wishes to follow
Focusing on the reasons for the
speaker’s approach and discussion
Assuming that everything
interesting should be provided
in written form
Pretending to listen while actually
doing something else
Criticizing the speaker’s delivery
and interrupting the flow of what
they are saying to ask questions
Assuming you already know what
the issue is and how to resolve it
LISTENING ACTIVELY
Do’s Don’ts
your undivided attention: close the
door, hold your calls, and put aside
whatever you’re working on.
Listen carefully to how something
is said: look out for hints of sarcasm,
cynicism, or irony in what you hear.
Try to tune in to the speaker’s mood
and intention. Communication is a
shared responsibility, so it is up to you to
ensure that you understand the message.
Once you have listened to what a
person has to say and clarified anything
you’re not sure of, evaluate the facts
and evidence. Ask yourself whether
the evidence is recent, reliable,
accurate, and relevant.
To become a better listener,
you need to stop talking,
stop trying to carry on more
than one conversation, and
stop interrupting and let
the other person speak
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