370 / PREPARING TO NEGOTIATE
Understanding negotiation
dilemmas
Identifying true dilemmas
Over time, a number of myths have
evolved about the nature of negotiations.
Many negotiators continue to hold to
them, failing to recognize the difference
between these myths and the real
dilemmas they face. For example, it is a
popular misconception that a negotiator
must either be consistently “tough”
or consistently “soft” if they are to be
successful. In reality, effective negotiators
do not need to choose between these
approaches, but are flexible and use
a repertoire of styles.
Using processes
Some believe that negotiation is largely an
intuitive act, rather than a rational process.
Many effective negotiators will use their
intuition to a certain extent (to know the
right moment to make a concession or
present an offer, for example). However,
most of the negotiating task requires
systematic processes such as masterful
due diligence, identifying interests, and
setting clear objectives.
Skilled negotiators are able to recognize
the myths and focus their energy on the
true negotiation dilemmas, balancing
their approach and making the difficult
decisions needed to achieve the most
successful outcomes in their negotiations.
The negotiating task is very complex because it embodies a number
of fundamental dilemmas. To be successful in your negotiations, you
need to understand the difference between the true dilemmas that
you need to address, and the many myths that surround negotiating.
The five negotiation
dilemmas
THE STRATEGY OR
OPPORTUNITY DILEMMA
Unexpected opportunities
sometimes arise in negotiation.
It can be tempting to divert
from your well-planned
strategy, but be aware that
this may distract you from
achieving your objectives.
40%
of people think they
are trusting, but in fact
they mistrust others
US_370-371_Understanding_negotiation_dilemmas.indd 370 30/05/16 3:06 pm
UNDERSTANDING NEGOTIATION DILEMMAS / 371
THE HONESTY DILEMMA
How much should you tell the
other party? If you tell them
everything, they may exploit the
information and take advantage
of you, so you need to strike
a balance between honesty
and transparency.
THE COMPETE OR
COOPERATE DILEMMA
You must compete for the benefits
on the table, but also cooperate to
create them with the other party.
You therefore need to be skilled at
both, to be able to create and then
claim value.
THE EMPATHY DILEMMA
If you develop empathy with the
other party, it may stop you from
acting assertively and negotiating
for your interests. Try to do both
well—maintain good relationships,
but protect your interests too.
THE TRUST DILEMMA
Trust is needed for a negotiation to
move forward, but if you trust the
other party completely, you put
yourself at risk of being taken
advantage of. Invest in building
trust, albeit with measured caution.
Skilled negotiators
recognize the myths
and focus on the
true negotiation
dilemmas
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