392 / SETTING YOUR STYLE
Building relationships
Making contact
Effective negotiators know that, in the
long run, good relationships are best
built through face-to-face interaction
rather than by talking on the telephone
or corresponding via email. Where
possible, try to create opportunities to
socialize with the other party before the
negotiations begin. This is not to talk
about the negotiations and “discover
secrets,” but rather to get to know the
other person better and connect with
them on a human level. The atmosphere
of the negotiation process may be very
different if you are not meeting your
counterpart for the first time at the
negotiation table.
Making a personal connection
Today, more and more negotiators from
the West value what Asian, Arab, and
Latin societies recognized thousands
of years ago—the high value of good
relationships. Experienced negotiators
invest in building relationships because
good relationships “oil” the negotiation
process and make it more efficient. For
example, former US Secretary of State
James Baker has stated that he has seen
this occur time and again—that once
negotiators have a good relationship,
even the most difficult and conflict-
inducing issues have been resolved,
simply because the negotiators were
more transparent and flexible in their
dealings with each other.
Contract negotiators are typically task-oriented and pragmatic, tend
to focus on negotiating specific issues, and do not invest in building
relationships. Relationship negotiators, in contrast, invest first in
building good relationships before negotiating on specific issues.
Effective negotiators need to be skilled at both approaches.
Case study
BEING PREPARED
When US businessman Robert
Johnson was looking for financial
investment to enable him to create
a new cable channel, Black
Entertainment Television, he did his
homework. Before pitching the idea
to John C. Malone—one of the
industry’s biggest players—he
learned about Malone’s business
philosophy of believing in the
entrepreneurial spirit and of
individuals helping themselves
rather than relying on others.
When they met, Johnson was
able to connect with Malone by
highlighting their shared business
values. This similarity provided a
positive start for their successful
business negotiations.
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BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS / 393
Interacting informally
In your interactions with the other party,
take advantage of any opportunities to
express your appreciation genuinely
and congratulate them for their
achievements. Use small talk and humor
where appropriate—taking opportunities
to interact informally will help you build a
relationship. Be cautious, however, and
use “safe humor” so as not to offend the
other party. Where possible, focus on the
common ground between you. You may
find that similarities are personal (you
may share the same hobby, for example)
or ideological, such as a similar business
philosophy. These findings offer a solid
start for building a long-lasting, friendly,
and constructive business relationship.
Thinking long-term
You should also protect the “face,” or
dignity, of others and treat them with
respect when you are taking more
from a deal than they are. This is
especially helpful when you are trying
to build long-term relationships.
In team negotiations, it can work well
to include socially skilled negotiators
in your team who can take greater
responsibility for building lasting
relationships, while other team
members (contract negotiators) focus
more on the specific issues.
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