22 / UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF
Applying assertiveness
An effective manager needs to behave in an active and assertive
manner to get things done. Assertive managers are able to express
their feelings and act with appropriate degrees of openness and candor,
but still have a regard for the feelings and rights of others.
STATE YOUR CASE
Try beginning your
conversations with “I”
phrases, such as
“I think,” “I believe,”
or “I need.”
BE PREPARED
Prepare for tricky
encounters: have all the
facts on hand, and try
to anticipate the other
person’s replies.
USE OPEN
QUESTIONS
If you are finding it hard
to get a person to talk to
you, use open questions
that cannot be answered
with a simple “yes” or
“no” answer.
Becoming more assertive
Assertive behavior for
effective management
Most people fall between the extremes
of passive and aggressive. At these
extremes, passive and aggressive
behaviors hinder effective managerial
relations because neither encourages
openness. Effective managers need to be
assertive, express their ideas and feelings
openly, and stand up for their rights, and
all in a way that makes it easier for those
they are managing to do the same. The
assertive manager is always sensitive to
the needs of others; he or she does not
Understanding
personality types
Assertiveness and the ability to
express feelings are skills that people
possess to different extents. Some are
aggressive, direct, and blunt, and can
appear domineering, pushy, or self-
centered. Some people tend to be
passive, inhibited, and submissive; they
bottle up their feelings and fail even
to stand up for their legitimate rights.
Passive individuals seek to avoid conflicts
and tend to sublimate their own needs
and feelings in order to satisfy others.
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APPLYING ASSERTIVENESS / 23
ASK YOURSELF…
YES NOAm I assertive enough?
1 Does my response accurately reflect how I feel if I’m given
a compliment about my work? .........................................................
2 Am I able to speak up when I’m in a group of strangers? ...............
3 If others interrupt me when I am talking, can I hold
my ground? ........................................................................................
4 Do I avoid being taken advantage of by other people? ...................
5 Am I able to criticize others’ work if I think
they might react badly? ....................................................................
GET PERSPECTIVE
Try to see a situation
from the other person’s
point of view. Most
workplace bullies, for
example, are hiding
their own insecurities or
an inability to do the job.
BE PATIENT
You’ll need time and
practice to become
comfortable with the
new behavior. Recognize
that those around you
may initially be
uncomfortable when
you start to become
more assertive.
VISUALIZE
YOURSELF
Try assertive role
play with a trusted
colleague, to help you
see yourself as an
assertive person.
seek to rule less assertive people. Trying
to achieve dominance may produce
short-term results but will not make
the best use of the abilities of members
of your team.
The assertive manager is
straightforward yet sensitive
to the needs of others
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