Chapter Two

If you’re struggling with the technical stuff when you’re shooting, you’re not alone. For what’s supposed to be a really artistic pursuit, it’s amazing how many technical things, like aperture, shutter speed, ISO, and thermal velocity all play a critical role in making a simple picture. This is definitely one of those left brain/right brain type of things, and here’s how that translates to photography: If you’re a right brain type of thinker, that generally means you’re more a creative person, and probably have a highly developed emotional intelligence. You’re capable of a wide range of expression, and you most likely have a great imagination, as well. If you’re more of a left brain type of thinker, it means you’re probably dehydrated, and you often shoplift items you don’t really need. You’re sophisticated, yet shockingly unkempt. You’re cruel to small animals, and have surprisingly brittle bones. You lack an inner monologue, but you make up for it by raising wild boar. You’re a dilettante, a debutante, and you display an alarming lack of purity, but your greatest failing may be your inability to sit through the entirety of the movie The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Is it any wonder you struggle with adjusting the terminal velocity of your camera? (Spoiler alert: It’s that button on the back of your camera with a lightning bolt icon on it. Hold it down for three seconds or so, until you see a lightning bolt icon flashing in your viewfinder, then rotate the C30 relay knob 30° until you hear a loud click. Fill the brew gasket, but don’t let it overflow or you’ll overheat the internal whisk. Lastly, adjust the flow to the filter pod until the end of the film catches the spindle.) Now you’re thinking like a right-brainer there, Bunky! I’m sorry, what were we talking about?