Truth 21. Retention begins with hello

There’s a time machine that will take you right back to those wacky, wonderful teenage years. You remember: You were painfully aware of every single thing you did, afraid that one little misstep would reveal to the world the geek that you were afraid you really were. This agonizing self-consciousness was compounded if you were the new kid in school. You didn’t know your way around. A secret code divided the cool from the un-. Most people were standoffish. But just as bad: Some people seemed too eager to be your friend. You could fall in with the wrong crowd without realizing it.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, we’ve got your time machine right here. Step right up and take a look. But don’t get too close or you’ll get sucked into the vortex known as First Week on a New Job! See how the funny mirrors distort your self-esteem! Marvel at how the floor plans change under your very feet, making you lost and late for every appointment. No! Don’t let Overly Friendly Guy touch you! You’ll be marked as a Loser forever! Listen to the whispers and the laughter! Hear that? It’s you they’re talking about. Doomed to eat lunch alone for the rest of your life! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

You’ve had First Weeks yourself. And, unless you have the self-regard of granite, you know how it feels to be the insecure new hire. But you must have done okay, because now you’re the manager. And now newcomers are worried about what you’re thinking about them. With all the stress and emotions swirling around a new hire’s first week on the job, you can be confident that perceptions are skewed and, without your guidance and attention, she may be coming to some strange conclusions about your team, its culture, and who really has the power to get things done.

Unless there’s a death in the family, nothing is more important on your schedule than your new hire’s first week.

Your job is to help your new hire get the right start. Otherwise, someone else will step in to fill that need—someone who may not have your team’s best interests at heart. If you do it, you’ll know that it will get done right:

• Don’t assign a buddy. Be the buddy. Unless there’s a death in the family, nothing is more important on your schedule than your new hire’s first week. If you’re there for the insignificant questions (“Do we pay for our own coffee or is it free?”), your new employee will feel more comfortable going to you for questions like “Doesn’t Joe’s request violate the Sarbanes-Oxley Act?” You don’t want anyone else to have the chance to answer that.

• Fill her lunch docket. If you have a tightly knit team, book the big table at the best restaurant your budget allows and have a welcome-aboard lunch her very first day as your team member. Then make sure every lunch hour that first week is booked with individuals from your team, starting with you. If your team isn’t so tight, start and end the week with lunch with you, and ask your most positive employees to eat with her during the middle three days.

• Give her a project to complete that first week. Give her something meaningful and moderately challenging to do so that she closes out her first 5 days with the satisfaction of accomplishment. Make sure the project makes her circulate throughout the team and even the organization as a whole so that she can meet more people and get a better understanding of how all the pieces work together.

• Give her a break. Remember that your employee is under tremendous emotional pressure during the first few days—even months—on the job. She may have landed the job of her dreams that she competed mightily for. But still, with so much at stake, she’s going to be self-conscious and nervous. And that could show up in weird ways. She’s not herself yet.

• Don’t rush this process. Your new hire represents the best choice among all the applicants for that position. So, take the time now to welcome her well. Otherwise, you might have to do it again. And that will be with your second choice.