Truth 66. Games don’t build teams

Some people just don’t like to be afraid. And some people really don’t like to lose their composure, face, and bladder control while standing on one foot atop a telephone pole. And hearing “You can do it!” shouted encouragingly 30 feet below from one’s coworkers doesn’t help one tiny little bit.

Most team-building games, challenges, and events accomplish only one thing: They serve to remind us that despite outward appearance—and very real adult financial obligations—we really haven’t made much progress in wisdom and perspective since we were 15. And neither, by the way, have any of those bullies and weasels who have also only gotten older and taller.

Those Outward Bound wannabe exercises such as ropewalks, rappelling, trust falls, and endurance hikes are fabulous confidence builders for people who are pretty confident already. They know that they’re capable of doing so much more in their lives and jobs if they could only bust through some self-imposed boundaries and negative thinking. But no one should actually be forced to go through those experiences. Certainly not in front of people they have to see again, especially at work. At work, now as before, image is an essential component of our confidence kit. We like to keep our fears and any incompetence to ourselves:

At work, image is an essential component of our confidence kit. We like to keep our fears and any incompetence to ourselves.

• Reserve what matters for what really matters. When you’re balancing on a single rope 50 feet from the ground, trussed in a cat’s cradle of very intimate straps, and wearing a dumb-looking helmet, with all eyes on you from the ground, that rope matters a lot. But a week later, the only thing that remains is the humiliation. That’s not helpful the next time you’re presenting a $70 million merger proposal and you just know that those two snickering in the back of the room are saying, “Hey, you remember the time Bob peed his chinos on the ropewalk?” It’s distracting, to say the least.

• Some people just have different ideas of what fun is. Shared memories of pleasure are lovely bonding moments. The best ones, though, come from within the group, not from a menu of prepackaged themed events that a consultant tells you will bring the most return on your investment. Casino nights can be fun, except for someone who needs to stay away from gaming tablesand doesn’t particularly want you to know about that. Margarita nights can be a blast, with potential for some great pictures afterward, except for the person who needs to stay away from tequila (and who doesn’t want you to know about that either). Forget about barbeques; you might have a stealth vegetarian onboard. Karaoke nights can be fun, except for the person who doesn’t particularly want to look like an idiot. Anything after work can be a laugh riot, except for the people who have to get their kids from daycare.

See the problem here?

Any group experience should be toward reinforcing the pride, joy, trust, and respect among the team members so everyone can move forward with the confidence that his dignity is intact. There are plenty of bonding moments and chances for a good laugh as everyone pulls together on a shared vision of success. Ultimately, business results are what really matter.

Business results are what really matter.

The best team-building experiences in the world are the ones that allow passionate, dedicated, and talented people to get the chance to give their best toward a common goal. If you don’t have that as part of your daily workplace culture, no expensive, high-risk experiential event is going to make that happen. If you do have that as part of your workplace culture, save your money.

The best team-building experiences in the world are the ones that allow passionate, dedicated, and talented people to get the chance to give their best toward a common goal.

The workplace world is rife with opportunities to experience fear and exhibit ridiculous behavior. Why pay for it?

The fun will come naturally.