Truth 40. Compassion promotes performance

In the course of human events, work still has to get done. And unfortunately, we can’t make ourselves so busy that we can hold off the normal course of human events. No matter how we cram our calendars with wall-to-wall appointments, our lives are still filled with the terrible happenstances of being human: death, illness, accidents, national tragedies. The more people you have in your department, the more you are faced with the need to rise above your own fears and feelings and extend compassion to your employees.

This can be a frightening time for you, too, even if you’re not personally or directly affected by the tragedy. You risk saying or doing the very thing that will make matters worse for your employees. You want to be sensitive to their privacy. You want to give them time to recover from the shock of loss. You might even feel the urge to keep your distance to give them the space they need to take care of themselves. But distance from you can appear to be indifference to them.

Distance from you can appear to be indifference to them.

Managers petrified by the prospect of doing the wrong thing often give into the temptation of not doing anything at all. And that can be worse. The way you take care of your employees during this rough time will benefit you later as they recall your kindness, thoughtfulness, discretion, and loyalty:

• Consider the context of the crisis. If the situation directly affects multiple employees (a severe hurricane, for instance), consult with the corporate-level HR office to brainstorm ways you can respond to the urgency. You might be able to arrange for cash advances and loans to help employees secure temporary housing or even relocate to other company locations around the country.

If the crisis is affecting only one individual, discreetly talk with that employee to explore ways that you can help.

• Don’t take “nothing” for an answer. If you ask an employee whose head is swimming with overwhelm and panic, “Is there anything I can do?” Chances are you’re going to hear, “Nothing, thanks.” That’s the easy, polite answer. Don’t believe it. There’s plenty that you can do. You just have to think of it yourself. If the employee is intensely private or easily embarrassed, do something quiet, such as cutting that person a check to pay for a personal chef for a week or so. This way, nourishment is taken care of while the employee is focusing on the emergency. If your group is a close team, work up a roster of volunteers who will share the duty of making sure the employee’s kitchen is stocked with food and the house is clean.

There’s plenty that you can do. You just have to think of it yourself.

If the emergency is beyond your reach to help with directly, do something symbolic but still meaningful and significant. If your employee’s family was involved in a serious accident, for instance, organize a departmental (or even organization-wide) blood drive. Or if the employee is dealing with cancer in the family, adopt a related fundraising event as your department’s number-one extracurricular project.

• Seek the help you need to know how to reach out appropriately. It’s especially important that all your employees know that you care about them. But it may not come naturally to you to open your own heart and show your emotions during this time of crisis. You may be the boss, but you’re not God. You can’t read minds or see deep inside the hearts of your employees. Reassuringly, you shouldn’t be expected to, either. If you feel that you’re over your head with your employee’s issue or behavior, get advice and support from someone you trust in your organization, be it your own boss, HR, or your employee assistance program.

How you treat one employee in need will tell all your employees that they will be able to count on you should their own crisis come. And don’t forget: It’s entirely possible that you could be on the receiving end of compassion the next time. The culture of caring that you demonstrate with each employee in crisis can flow upward in your direction just as easily as outward throughout your department. Either way, the caring that your team experiences and expresses will bind them as a team of mutual trust and reliance.