Contents
Part 1: A Little Attention Please
Chapter 1 What Is Assertiveness and What Isn’t?
What Does it Mean to Be Assertive?
Physical Versus Vocal Assertiveness
Developing or Exhibiting Effective Assertiveness Techniques
Assertiveness Has Gotten a Bad Rap
There’s No Need to Be Offensive
Assertiveness Is Not the Opposite of Passivity
A Different Animal: The Passive-Aggressive Type
Being Assertive Can Also Help Those Around You
Chapter 2 The World as We Found It
Press “Two” for Service, Press “Three” for Returns . . .
A Quarter-Million More People Per Day and Counting
This Update Is Brought to You By . . .
Even Your Mother Has an Answering Machine
Chapter 3 Where and When to Assert Yourself
What’s Worth Fighting for and What’s Best Left Alone
Before You Can Assert Yourself, You Have to Know What You Want
A Short Course on Decision-Making
Chapter 4 Assertiveness Through the Ages
I Came, I Saw, I Made My Wishes Known
Assertiveness in Recent History
Part 2: A More Self-Confident You
Chapter 5 Why Self-Confidence Is So Important
It’s Normal to Be Confused Today
The Importance of Self-Confidence
Feeling More Confident Even in the Face of Uncertainty
Where Do You Shine, and Where Don’t You?
How to Talk to Yourself to Create Results
Chapter 6 Increasing Your Vocal Self-Confidence
What Is Vocal Self-Confidence?
Who Has Vocal Self-Confidence?
Finding a Speech Pattern You Can Live With
Chapter 7 Self-Confidence Tips You Can Practice Today
Chapter 8 Self-Confidence Every Day
Self-Confident People Are Not Paragons
Self-Confidence in Social Situations
From Self-Confidence to Assertiveness
Part 3: I Assert, Therefore I Am
Chapter 9 Must Haves, Wants, and Nice Ifs
How Much Energy Do You Choose to Allocate?
Chapter 10 The Aggressiveness/Assertiveness Grid
A Measuring Tool for How and When to Be Aggressive
Taking No Prisoners Has Its Place
Deciding to Come to the Peace Table
The Final Jeopardy Category (40°)
Chapter 11 Separating Myth From Reality
Born on the Right Side of the Tracks?
Are Men More or Less Assertive than Women?
You Can Learn to Be More Assertive
Chapter 12 Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace . . .
All About Toastmasters International
American Society for Training and Development
International Society for Performance Improvement
Chapter 13 Physical Assertiveness
Walking Tall—Will the Dynamic You Please Step Forward?
Projecting Alertness and Awareness
Physical and Vocal Assertiveness
Part 4: Assertiveness in Your Home Life
Chapter 14 Being Assertive Within Your Immediate Family
Being Assertive with Family Members
But My Spouse Won’t Listen to Me!
Getting Your Children to Listen and Respond
Chapter 15 Assertiveness Among Relatives
Getting Your Parents to Listen and Respond
Being Assertive with Your Spouse’s Parents
Getting Anyone Else You’re Close to to Listen and Respond
Chapter 16 Neighbors and Other Acquaintances
Part 5: Assertiveness in Your Personal Life
Chapter 17 Special Assertiveness Situations for Women
The Role of Physical Attractiveness
Assertiveness When You’re Dating
Asserting Yourself When You’re Harassed
If Women Aren’t Free, Men Aren’t Free
Chapter 18 Assertiveness for Other Special Circumstances
Assertiveness Challenges for the Elderly
Assertiveness Challenges for the Young
Assertiveness Challenges for the Vertically Challenged
Assertiveness Challenges for the Horizontally Challenged
Chapter 19 Becoming an Assertive Consumer
So, You Bought an Appliance and It Turned Out to Be a Lemon
Getting Assertive with Telemarketers
State, County, and City Government Consumer Offices
Chapter 20 Becoming an Assertive Citizen
Calling on Washington, D.C. . . . Is Anybody Home?
Could I Get a Little Attention Here?
How to Communicate by Phone with a Bureaucrat
You Don’t Have to Actually Use Any of This Stuff . . .
Part 6: Assertiveness in Your Professional Life
Chapter 21 Being Assertive at Work
The Difference Between Progress or Failure
Buddy, Can You Spare a Job (at Executive’s Wages)?
Assertive Women in the Workplace
Chapter 22 Who’s the Boss Around Here?
Going for the Big One, Asking for a Raise
Mastering the Performance Appraisal
When You’re Asked to Do Too Much
Asserting Yourself in Dire Situations
Chapter 23 Assertiveness with Your Peers
Being More Influential Right Where You Are
Handling Criticism from Co-Workers
Being Assertive for the Good of the Group
Chapter 24 Assertiveness with Your Staff
Helping Your Staff to Be More Assertive and at Their Best
Knowing When to Drop Back and Punt
Having to Say It Only One Time
When to Let Your Staff Have the Floor
Some Staffers Will Present a Challenge
Helping Your Staff to Work Better with You
Chapter 25 Handling Clients or Customers
Keeping Your Relationships Vibrant and Long-Term
Don’t Treat “A” Customers Like “D” Customers
What Is Your Quality of Relationship?
Chapter 26 Collecting What’s Yours
A Dollar Earned Is Not a Dollar Collected
Chapter 27 Assert Yourself, Now and Forever
Practice Your New Skills for a Lifetime Payoff
Practice Your New Skills for a Lifetime Payoff
Boldly Go Where You’ve Never Gone Before