Index

accountability, 178–179

Achor, S., 177

action

high seas, 109–111

High-Stakes Conversations, 113–115

SOAR, 111–112

Amabile, T., 178

ambiguity, 10–11

American Society of Training and Development (ASTD), 178

amygdala, 67

apologies, 156

Autonomy, Relatedness and Competence (ARC), 70–78, 82–85, 93, 104, 124, 133, 148–149, 169

balance asking and telling, 129–131

behavior change, 175–182

Best Self, 31–46

brain process, 65

and rewards, 67–69

breathe strategy, 87–92, 152–153

Chism, M., 164

closed-ended questions, 125–129

cognitive skills, 84

compassion, 84

confirmation bias, 58

conflict resolution, 52

correspondence bias, 60–62

Covey, S. R., 79

COVID-19, 11, 13, 44, 55, 111, 149

creativity, 85

critical conversations, 42, 43

debrief, 164

defensiveness, 149–151, 172

defensive reactions, 151–158

depression prevention, 84

Dewey, J., 166

difficult conversations, 40, 113

discipline, 23

Dweck, C., 131

emotional intelligence, 18, 24, 166

emotional regulation, 85–94

emotions, 94–96

empathy, 117–119

equalizer, 120

and quality questions, 121–123

trust and, 119–120

experience, 165–167

feedback, 168–172

fight, flee, or freeze violence, 63–67

fight-or-flight responses, 148–149

follow-up questions, 127–128, 155–156

forward-focused solutions, 137–141

Frankl, V. E., 50–51

From Dope to Hope: A Man in Recovery (Ryan), 120

Furnham, A., 19

Gallup Organization, 37

goals and intentions, 98–100

Google, 117–119

growth mindset, 131–132

Hanson, R., 4

Happiness Advantage, The (Achor), 177

Headspace, 29

heart health, 85

higher-quality questions, 123–131

High-Stakes Conversations (HSCs), 113–115, 185–187

defensive reactions, 151–158

forward-focused solutions, 137–141, 189–190

issue, 133–135, 187–188

negative reactions, 148–151

Outlook and, 147–148

perspectives, 135–137, 188–189

reflection, 191–192

self-assessment and review, 159

shared action, 141–145, 191

Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tiredness, or Sickness (HALTS), 40–45

immune function, 84

Ingham, H., 26

intellectual curiosity, 127

intentions, goals and, 98–100

Johari Window, 26–27

Kahneman, D., 3, 6, 43

King, M. L. Jr., 11

Kramer, S., 178

label your feelings, 92–94, 153

Lieberman, M., 93, 100

listening, 23, 25, 26, 57, 121, 127, 128, 134, 153, 158, 189

Luft, J., 26

magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), 71

Maister, D., 119

meaningful, 176

meditation, 83–85

Mehrabian, A., 28

mindfulness

breathe strategy, 87–92

emotions and, 94–96

label your feelings, 92–94

and meditation, 83–85

pause strategy, 85–87

mindset, 120, 131–132, 137, 168, 197

Moments That Matter (MTMs), xvii–xxii, 7–9, 17–18, 28, 66, 101–102

MTM goal and intention, 100–105

negativity bias, 69

neuroscience, 167–168

open-ended questions, 125–127

Outlook, 49

and High-Stakes Conversations, 147–148

perception biases, 51–62

response, 50–51

self-assessment and review, 105

skills, 49–50

pain control, 85

paraphrase, 128–129

pause strategy, 85–87, 152

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), 139

perception bias, 50–63, 110

personality, 24–25

perspectives, 135–137, 188–189

physical threat, 64

Platinum Rule, 197

practice, 195–196

practice reflection, 163–164

behavior change, 175–182

experience, 165–167

feedback, 168–172

neuroscience, 167–168

self-assessment and review, 182–183

“What? So What? Now What?”, 172–175

Progress Principle, The (Amabile and Kramer), 178

Project Aristotle, 117

psychological safety, 118

quality questions, 121–123, 135, 136, 138, 141–143, 171, 188, 189

growth mindset and, 131–132

higher, 123–131

reflection. See practice reflection

relationships, 84

vs. results, 100–105

resilience, 179

return on investment (ROI), 22, 37

Ryan, T., 120

self, 18

self-assessment, 46

self-awareness, 19–22

leader, 22–23

parent, 23–24

ROI of, 22

strategy, 24–30

self-care, 39–45

self-leadership, 14, 17, 147, 181

Self, Outlook, Action, and Reflection (SOAR) cycle, xxi–xxii, 11–14, 111–112, 181, 182

Silent Messages (Mehrabian), 28

sleep, 85

social support, 178–179

social threat, 64–65

Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect (Lieberman), 100

Stop, Breathe, & Think, 29

stress and anxiety reduction, 84

Thinking Fast and Slow (Kahneman), 43

trust and empathy, 119–120

Trusted Advisor (Maister), 119

unconscious bias, 68, 125, 167

values exercise, 34–35

weakness, 169

weight loss, 176

well-being, 195

willingness, 142–144

Wilson, T. D., 6

Worst Self, 37