66. The Right Way Enthuses

Positively charging people to do their best does not require special skills. It does require awareness, use of positive words and nonthreatening body language, and a sensitivity to appropriate timing. You should determine the best time and place to discuss corrective feedback with others. Choose constructive words, open body language, a time that is conducive to you and the other person, and a place that is private. Once you learn how to give feedback in a positive and constructive manner, you will find that feedback—any feedback—can enthuse both you and the person you are evaluating.

Performance Prompts

• Analyze how you interact with others. Pay attention to the words you choose and your body language. Focus on correcting any of your own behaviors to make sure you come across in a positive and helpful manner.

• Before giving feedback, understand why you are giving it. Make sure your motive is to genuinely improve the situation.

• Before giving feedback, tell the other person what you are going to do. I’d like to talk to you about something I observed during our meeting this morning. Is now a good time?

• Find a private place to give corrective feedback. Let’s step outside.

• When giving feedback:

  • Always state what you observed. When I began giving my report, you asked me a question before I was finished giving all the figures.

  • Say how the behavior affected you. As a result, I lost my train of thought, and it was hard for me to get back on track.

  • Give the person a chance to respond. Gee, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I was afraid if I waited I’d forget to ask.

  • Offer a suggestion or work together to find a solution. That’s understandable. Next time would you mind making a note of your question and asking after I’m done? That would be a big help to me.

When This Happens ...

Allison is still upset. You need to talk to her about an incorrect report that she submitted, but you recognize that now is not a good time.

Try This

Wait until she has time to compose herself. “Allison, I need to talk to you about the report you turned in this morning. Is now a good time?” “Sure.” “Let’s go into the conference room to talk. . . . When I was reviewing the sales figures, I noticed that the daily tallies don’t add up to what you show for the total. I had to redo the figures and that caused me to turn in the team report late.” Pause. Give her time to respond. “I’m sorry. I get confused with everything I need to compute.” Aha. “Let’s see if we can work together to find a solution that will make this easier for you.” Now choose words that help Allison feel good about herself, and you will enthuse her to do her reports correctly.

Always end a feedback session with words of encouragement and assurance.