suggests knowledge, rigour and an agreeable openness about
what makes their product so special.Talking about ‘the secrets of
our success’ in the plural is also a slightly quirky thing to say that
might snag people’s attention. What if I made each ‘secret’ a
spread in the final booklet? Then I could scour the raw material
for substantiating facts for each secret and tell a story based
around those. I start compiling a list of so-called secrets directly
out of my interview transcripts, and after giving them a bit of
TLC I end up with:
Secret No. 1 – Quality first. And middle. And last.
Secret No. 2 – Accept no limitation.
Secret No. 3 – Whatever you do, do it with passion.
Secret No. 4 – It’s all about the experience.
Secret No. 5 – There’s no big secret.
I especially like the last given that I’ve just been banging on
about secrets.That’s a good start – now I have a structure for the
piece. Next I comb my raw material for substantiating facts,
phrases and ideas, grouping these under each secret. Soon I’m
ready to compile my notes and convert them into sentence form:
Secret No. 1 – Quality first. And middle. And last.
Our aim is simple: to create the best coffee in the world.This obsession
with excellence at any price means [name] is unashamedly for the few.
We create our coffee for a very particular audience with a very par-
ticular lifestyle – international, cultured, successful and above all,
sophisticated – the sort of person you’d be delighted to have sitting next
to you at dinner. Frankly, not everyone will get it (in any sense). Are
we taking this ‘coffee beyond compare’ thing too far? We think not.
[Name] is confident but never arrogant, cultured but never conceited,
exclusive but never elitist. Just like you, really.
The tone of voice comes straight from the CEO and reflects the
qualities of the product – defiantly upmarket but with an under-
stated intelligence and sense of humour. It seems to work so I
push on:
Here’s one I made earlier 101
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102 brilliant copywriting
Secret No. 2 – Accept no limitation
It’s a curious fact that many premium espressos don’t work quite so
well when combined with milk. Consider the fact that around 95% of
espresso drunk in the UK ends up in either a latte or a cappuccino,
and you’ll see why that’s something of a problem. [Name] coffee is dif-
ferent. It’s a superb all-rounder with a taste profile deliberately created
to produce a fruity, citrus espresso and a rich, chocolatey
latte/cappuccino. ‘So what?’ we hear you cry. Well, no other coffee
known to man is so versatile – you can under express it, over express
it, drink it straight or with milk and it will still taste divine. Forget
nanotechnology, that’s what we call progress.
Again I’m rifling through my research to come up with mini-
factoids like the thing about percentage of espresso drunk with
milk and the taste profile (lifted directly from the taster’s notes).
I’m on my way with the body copy but there’s something missing.
As it stands it’s still all a bit, well, ordinary.What I need is to give the
reader some reason to keep reading. Plus, I haven’t really nailed the
idea of ‘premium’ that comes up again and again in the research.
How can I combine the two?Years ago I did a spoof questionnaire
for another client which seemed to work, so I dig it out and try to
graft that format onto this subject.And then it hits me –amultiple-
choice questionnaire to find out if the reader is a ‘premium person’.
I go for the dependable‘one wrong,one right,one absurd’formulae:
Are you a premium person?
Find out with our handy test. Answers on the last page.
An awfully nice couple have moved in over the road and invite you
round for supper. Do you take:
A. A two-litre bottle of strong cider? Well, you want to break the ice,
don’t you?
B. A tin of [name]? Smart, subtle and exclusive, just like you.
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C. News that their property is built over an old graveyard. Just
because you often hear screams at night doesn’t mean they necess-
arily will.
Once I’ve got my eye in, the next instalment comes easily:
Your partner is of the opinion that premium coffee is a Barista-led
conspiracy intended only to fleece the masses of their hard-earned
crust. Do you:
A. Agree before quietly dumping them at the first opportunity?
B. Patiently explain that although we are all in the gutter, some of us
are looking at the stars?
C. Buy them a subscription to Heat magazine and tell them to
lighten up?
And so on. I write up all five ‘secrets’, come up with five quiz
pages and then alternate them – one page of secret, one page of
quiz. That’s the first draft of the body copy done.
Now I need an intro and an outro. The intro needs to tee up the
whole secrets thing, introduce as many of the key words as poss-
ible without seeming forced and generally set the tone. For some
reason Stephen Fry starts talking in my head and I quickly arrive
at:
Imagine a coffee that’s smoother than a tiger in a tuxedo and more
luxurious than a cashmere codpiece.
Are you imagining?
Well, that’s [name], a remarkable espresso that is, quite simply, like no
other. Given its unique character we might be excused for keeping the
secret of our success, well, secret. But we can’t.We want all who share
our love of fine things and even finer coffee to enjoy the singular
experience that is [name]. So that’s what this little book is all about –
the inside story of [name], a premium coffee for, well, premium people.
Enjoy.
Here’s one I made earlier 103
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I’m on to something with the cashmere codpiece malarkey, so I
jot down a few more:
More pleasurable than a mink glove massage
Sexier than a supermodel in a string bikini
Smoother than a well-buffed baby’s bottom
As glamorous as a bling-encrusted ball gown
As indulgent as a spoon-fed chocolate soufflé
More cultured than a small army of art critics
More complex than a roomful of Rubik’s Cubes
As versatile as a Swiss Army knife with added kitchen sink
As passionate as a frisky flamenco fanatic
Hmm, none are quite as good as the original, but I’ll hang onto
them just in case. As for the outro, well, that’s the quiz results:
Are you a premium person?
You’ve finished our quiz, now learn your fate:
Mostly As:You haven’t quite got to grips with this good life thing,
have you?
Mostly Bs: Splendid.You’ll do nicely.
Mostly Cs: Ever considered minicabbing as a career? Maybe you
should.
Top and tail with a couple of quotes gleaned from the Web . . .
No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy
goodness.
Sheik Abd-al-Kadir
A fig for partridges and quails,
ye dainties I know nothing of ye;
But on the highest mount in Wales
Would choose in peace to drink my coffee.
Jonathan Swift
. . . and it’s in the bag. Time for a coffee.
104 brilliant copywriting
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