279 Conversations in Berlin
that context they were somehow discussing technical issues or tech-
nicalities about the sound and whatever, she doesn’t feel that because
they are evil or mean in any way, but only because they are men, they
just put her aside somehow and did not include her by themselves
in the conversation. One of the things that she was learning during
this process of the [festival name] was to deal in a context in which
she needed to negotiate with almost 12 men at the same time in the
same room. She learnt that she needed to let them discuss rst and to
have this thing of who knows more about this and who knows more
about this. After that she just put herself in the middle and started giv-
ing her points of view. She said I [the translator who is male] was so
blinded about that, so using the situations we were sharing during this
process, she made me truly, I don’t know, acknowledge the fact that
these things happen and that it was happening in front of my eyes and
I wasn’t really aware of that. I was like why are you so aected about
this meeting and she said no, you didn’t realise that this and this and
this happened. Then I started paying more attention and yes, it was
happening actually, it was happening all of the time. She says that she
was able to kind of put in context a lot of things that I wasn’t, as a man,
really aware of in this kind of situation.
She says that it was actually a very enjoyable process and a fun
process, because she had this fun way of dealing with it and kind of
understanding that dealing with it in a fun way could be better than
dealing in a negative, ominous way.
[Rezza] thinks that if she hasn’t her ideas as clear as she has, per-
haps they will always override her or somehow ignore her. But as long
as she was very minimal in what she was saying but at the same time
very clear about what she wanted and how she wanted it, they were
very receptive at the end. Men in a group is the problem. Men sepa-
rately it’s just okay, they can speak at the same level.
Rezza had to find her way in to navigate a lot of male energy. There
are power dynamics amongst men, described as male “homosociality, a
hierarchical structure in which men compete together ‘as a team’, whilst
simultaneously policing themselves and others against and by accusations
of effeminacy (Sedgwick, 1985; Hawkins, 2017: 36).
GENDER FEEDBACK LOOP
One magazine I love is called [Name removed] Magazine, I think it’s great.
They produce great content, but early on I was reading it and I wrote a
piece about . . . I went through and I noted all of the male names that
were the author, the editor or mentioned in the entire magazine [to] female.
I noticed that the ratio was . . . something like 200 to four. So, I was thinking
about this in relation to music, like electronic music and the idea of the
remix, and so I was thinking part of the problem is just that if all of your
references are male, then you’re going to remix those same males. Who
are your samples? Your samples are men and then you sample from those.
Fischer