The theory of behavioral or communication style bias is based on a number of underlying principles. A review of these principles can be beneficial before we examine specific styles.

1. Individual differences exist and are important. It is quite obvious that we all differ in terms of physical characteristics such as height, shoe size, facial features, and body build, but the most interesting differences are those patterns of behavior that are unique to each of us. Voice patterns, eye movement, facial expression, and posture are some of the components of our communication style. Additional characteristics are discussed later in this chapter. Research by the Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung and others has helped us understand the importance of individual differences.

2. A communication style is a way of thinking and behaving. It is not an ability but, instead, a preferred style or way of using abilities one has. This distinction is very important. An ability refers to how well someone can do something. A style refers to how someone likes to do something.7

3. Individual style differences tend to be stable. Our communication style is based on a combination of hereditary and environmental factors. Our style is somewhat original at the time of birth; it takes on additional individuality during the first three to five years of life. By the time we enter elementary school, the teacher should be able to identify our preferred communication style. Although an individual’s communication style tends to remain fairly constant throughout life, adapting to different communication counterparts or the ability to “flex” can be enhanced and mastered.

4. There is a finite number of styles. Most people display one of several clusters of similar behaviors, and this allows us to identify a small number of behavioral categories. By combining a series of descriptors, we can develop a single “label” that describes a person’s most preferred communication style.

5. To create the most productive relationships, it is necessary to get in sync with the communication style of the people you work with.8 Differences between people can be a source of friction unless you develop the ability to recognize and respond to the other person’s style.

The ability to identify another person’s communication style, and to know how and when to adapt your own preferred style to it, can afford you a crucial advantage in dealing with people. Differences between people can be a source of friction. The ability to “speak the other person’s language” is an important relationship management skill.9