Truth 1. Negotiation: A natural gift?
I have never met a natural-born negotiator. The best negotiators I’ve met have been self-made, not manufactured by their parents. People can adapt and improve with conscious effort, and, in fact, that is the only path to becoming a good negotiator. Your ability to do well in life’s most important negotiations isn’t determined by your basic personality or genetic structure. It’s most strongly determined by a simple factor: your motivation to improve.
Nevertheless, a great number of people believe successful negotiation is all in the DNA and that negotiation, like good looks, is something you’re born with.
You don’t have to travel far to see that the right kind of experience can dramatically improve your negotiation outcomes. The “magic bullet,” when it comes to experiences that enhance negotiation skills, is the I–C–E rule:
▪ Immediate feedback (preferably within one hour)
▪ Clarity about useful (and useless) behaviors
▪ Empirically tested best practices (that don’t require a lot of time and expense)
Negotiation is something you can practice and improve upon. For example, suppose that, if, immediately after a negotiation (within 20 minutes), someone would evaluate your performance, analyze your behaviors, and then give you a toolbox to ensure that you didn’t repeat mistakes. Your negotiation skills would undoubtedly improve. For example, when I’ve put this very model to the test in research and classrooms, people’s performance usually improves dramatically—by over 20 percent on average. So, the question is how can most of us significantly improve our ability to negotiate in our day-to-day negotiations? How can we become our own best teacher and our best student?
The best negotiators I’ve met have been self-made, not manufactured by their parents.
As you read this book, I suggest that you follow the advice given to the person who asked how to get to Carnegie Hall: “Practice.” Test the skills of each Truth and, if possible, get prompt, clear feedback. The more time and effort you put into trying out the various points and techniques shared, the more prepared you will be.