Truth 38. Negotiating on the phone
Would you rather negotiate face to face or on the phone?
Proponents of face-to-face negotiation say that you get more information from several data feeds when you are face to face. These negotiators like the fact that they have access to a person’s nonverbal as well as verbal behaviors.
Those who prefer the phone like the fact that they can use the phone as a buffer—to better compose their ideas and buy time.
Who is right? Actually, both are! If you are in a position of power, you are better off negotiating face-to-face because the other party is not able to counter-argue as effectively as you can. This can give you an edge when it comes to dividing the pie, or claiming value. However, if you have less power than the other party, opt for the phone so you can better manage when and how to respond to tactics.
When it comes to win–win agreements, there is a tendency for face-to-face negotiators to reach the most win–win outcomes, followed in success by telephone negotiators, and last, writing-only negotiators.27
Face-to-face interaction is the richest form of interaction because you have four channels of information feed:
▪ Kinetic cues—Kinetics means “touch,” and in social interaction, touch is a way of establishing rapport. In negotiation, people establish rapport by shaking hands, high-fiving, pulling two chairs closer together, and so on.
If you are in a position of power, you are better off negotiating face to face because the other party is not able to counter-argue as effectively as you can.
▪ Visual cues—Visual cues include anything you can see about the other party, such as whether she maintains eye contact, how she uses her hands, whether her body language is dominant or submissive, emotional expressions on her face, and so on.
▪ Linguistic cues—Linguistic cues refer to the actual content that negotiators use in their communication, such as the size of their offer.
▪ Paralinguistic cues—Paralinguistic cues refers to how a person uses language. For example, we can often detect sarcasm by the way a person emphasizes certain words.
When you negotiate on the phone, you lose the kinetic information feed, the sense of touching, and the visual information feed. This means you rely on linguistic cues and paralinguistic cues only. For this reason, people often have a harder time establishing rapport with the other person. Rapport is the feeling that you have when you are “in sync” or “on the same wavelength” with another person. Nonverbal behaviors, such as how you gesture and maintain eye contact and nod your head, are key to building rapport with someone. Have you ever had a phone call during which you and the other person were interrupting each other? This is a failure to synchronize.
Rapport is the feeling that you have when you are “in sync” or “on the same wavelength” with another person.
When you communicate face to face with someone, you engage in a complex dance of verbal and nonverbal behaviors, in which you adjust your speech and bodies to ease social interaction. This social dance paves the way for more win–win agreements. In one investigation, some negotiators stood face to face, whereas others stood side by side (and, therefore, could not easily establish conversational rhythm based on bodily cues). The face-to-face negotiators reached deals more quickly and successfully averted a strike!28
If you find yourself on the phone, rather than face to face, think about how to develop rapport with the counterparty. Here are some strategies that may pave the way toward smoother interaction:
▪ Engage in small talk or schmooze for the first five minutes, before getting down to action.
▪ Arrange for a short, face-to-face meeting before the phone call. (Having met someone face to face even one time can provide a foundation for rapport down the road.)
▪ Don’t multitask when you are on the phone. (Shut off your email and don’t call this person when you are simultaneously checking into your hotel.) If you are dividing your attention, you are unable to focus on the interaction, and you send a signal to the other party that she is not worth your time.
▪ One of the most problematic things about phone calls is turn-taking. Signal that you are finishing speaking your turn by saying something like, “Well, now that I have laid that out, I’m interested in your thoughts.”
▪ End the phone call in a personal way. People tend to remember beginnings and endings, so close on a bright note.