Truth 34. Your reputation
Think about your past 10 negotiations. How many were one-shot negotiations, in which you did not expect to see this person or his company ever again? How many were long-term or repeated negotiations, in which you would probably see this person or his company in the future?
Chances are, fewer than 10 percent of your negotiations are truly one shot. Therefore, you need to think about and protect your reputation in most negotiations.
Chances are, fewer than 10 percent of your negotiations are truly one shot. Therefore, you need to think about and protect your reputation in most negotiations.
Think of your reputation as your social capital at the negotiation table. Your reputation is composed of three different things: (1) the personal brand or image you project; (2) people’s firsthand dealing with you; and (3) secondhand information about you (gossip).
In one investigation of the reputations earned by students in a negotiation class, the students rated one another on the basis of firsthand experience. Four different kinds of reputations surfaced: 22
▪ Liar-manipulator—someone who is willing to do anything to gain advantage.
▪ Tough-but-honest—This negotiator is known to be very tough, makes few concessions, but does not lie.
▪ Nice and reasonable—This negotiator is willing to make concessions.
▪ Cream puff—This negotiator will make concessions and be conciliatory, regardless of what the other party does.
Before reading further, what would be the reputation you would want to have in your own negotiation community? As it turns out, people treat you differently, depending upon your reputation. If you have a reputation of being manipulative, people act more competitively with you.
How we see ourselves is not necessarily how others see us. Take the case of deceptive behavior: Most negotiators believe that they are deceived on average 40 percent of the time. (Sometimes the rate is about 50 percent.) However, these same people admit to using deception in about 25 percent of their negotiations. Do these two statistics add up?
No, they don’t add up. Why? I think there is one key reason: the double-standard effect. Quite simply, we evaluate others much more harshly than we look at ourselves. I am quick to believe that you misled me, but I rationalize my own behavior. It really does not matter how you look at yourself. You must consider your own reputation.
Most negotiators believe that they are deceived on average 40 percent of the time. (Sometimes the rate is about 50 percent.) However, these same people admit to using deception in about 25 percent of their negotiations.
Be aware of the effects that result from the way you interact with the other parties during negotiation. The self-aggrandizing effect and gender effect may seem like obvious ones to avoid. But recall that the way you make statements has effects as well. When you point to the disposition of the other party, such statements give rise to two biases about other people: the halo effect and the forked-tail effect. The halo effect is the tendency to believe that if a person is smart, she is also kind. The halo effect is the tendency to believe that if a person is physically attractive, she is also witty. In short, a halo effect occurs when people generalize wildly on the basis of only one piece of good information. You can probably guess what the forked-tail bias is: If you are clumsy, I also am inclined to think you are unintelligent, and so on.
The way you approach and respect others, then, has a great deal to do with how they do the same to you, and that, in a nutshell, is your reputation.