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ACTIVITY 45
Enable Uncovering

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

***

The ability to live life in the truest version of ourselves is empowering. All too often we allow what others think about and expect of us to get in the way of showing all aspects of who we are. When we find ourselves in environments that don't welcome key facets of who we are, we are compelled to cover them to feel safe. The term covering has gained popularity over the years from the body of work done by Kenji Yoshino, legal scholar and author of Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights. He defines it as “editing, modifying, and downplaying a known stigmatized identity so one can operate effectively at work. The rationale being that while you can't change yourself you can change how yourself shows up to work.” For some, covering may mean leaving the best part of themselves at the workplace door. When that happens, employers and teams are unable to harness all the talents we have to offer, and we miss out on the opportunity to maximize our potential. Enabling the covered to uncover requires that we create psychological safety and use it in our day-to-day interactions. This is also vital to the development of inclusive cultures. We feel psychologically safe when we can be our authentic selves without fear of repercussion just for being who we are. Safety is one of those things that we may take for granted in the workplace, especially when the organization's branding espouses its commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion. We would like to believe that the environment values difference and is free of harassment and discrimination for all individuals regardless of age, gender, race, ability, religion, and LGBTQ identity so that we don't have to cover parts of ourselves to be accepted. While many companies to varying degrees have policies and practices prohibiting discrimination, the truth of the matter is that many individuals don't feel safe revealing aspects of themselves for fear of discrimination and being stigmatized. Representing known characteristics that may be frowned upon can jeopardize careers, ruin opportunities to advance, or worse make us a target for being bullied or harassed. According to the Deloitte survey “Inclusion survey: Uncovering talent,” “sixty-one percent of participating employees cover their identities in some way at work.” Imagine hiding, downplaying parts of yourself, or pretending to be someone that you're not for the entire time that you're at work or participating in work-related activities. Even the simplest of interactions may raise stress and anxiety levels as one focuses more on guarding themselves than being themselves. Dr. Helen Ofosu, MA and PhD in applied social psychology, shares in a post on IOadvisory.com that:

People's perceptions of what defines the norm is very real. Our attitudes and beliefs show themselves during interactions as sexist, racist, or anti-LGBTQ, and other microaggressions persist. Negative bias and stigmas will cause White people to hide that they are married to a person of color, individuals with disabilities who function better in wheelchairs to opt for a cane to make the disability less noticeable, or practicing Muslims to pray in secret rather than risk being noticed in common areas.

The Deloitte survey defines covering in four dimensions:

Appearance based—covering concerns how individuals alter their self-presentation—including grooming, attire, and mannerisms—to blend into the mainstream. For instance, a black woman might straighten her hair to deemphasize her race.

Affiliation based—covering concerns how individuals avoid behaviors widely associated with their identity, often to negate stereotypes about that identity. A woman might avoid talking about being a mother because she does not want her colleagues to think that she is less committed to work.

Advocacy based—covering concerns how much individuals “stick up for” their group. A veteran might refrain from challenging a joke about the military, lest she be seen as overly strident.

Association based—covering concerns how individuals avoid contact with other group members. A gay person might refrain from bringing his same sex partner to a work function so as not to be seen as “too gay.”

Workplace culture becomes conducive to uncovering when we do things differently, do different things, or stop doing things altogether. Doing things differently may mean interrupting biased thinking and stereotypical beliefs rather than allowing them to play out during interactions and decision-making. Doing different things may mean joining an affinity group (i.e., individuals with disabilities) as an ally to better understand the challenges and become more aware of how personal actions and attitudes diminish someone's experience in the workplace. Stop doing things altogether may mean no longer telling jokes that cause or perpetuate unfavorable perceptions of marginalized groups. Co-workers should not be pressured or made to feel pressured by other co-workers to modify or downplay aspects of their identity so that they can feel more comfortable around them. My grandmother always seemed to know when I wasn't being myself and, in those times, she warned, “What goes on in the dark will always come to light. You may not know when or how; it just always does.” What that said to me is that in reality, I wasn't covering anything at all. She knew the truth—the real me—the one who I refused to reveal (see Figure 45.1). Parts of me were living in the shadows, and I was embarrassed by them. I wanted to live up to her expectations and not disappoint her with the truth. What I didn't realize at the time was that the warning came from a place of love. She knew the devasting effects of being uncovered on someone else's terms and desired better for me. She was right about the light. When the light of truth showed up, I was usually blindsided and sometimes with devastating consequences as I thought I was doing a darn good job in keeping things under wraps. Everyone deserves to live their truth when it's not harmful to others. Diminishing motherhood should not be a requirement for career progression. Nonbinary individuals should not be pressured to choose a feminine or masculine persona because their ambiguity makes others uncomfortable. No one truth should be held superior to another. Champions of inclusion are aware of the consequences of covering and the benefits of uncovering and let people know that fully expressing their differences are welcomed in their presence.

Photograph of a man holding a laughing emoji board. — **Figure 45.1**: The me I want you to see

Actions

Develop Trust

We are inclined to reveal more of ourselves to individuals we trust. When we demonstrate our trustworthiness, trusting relationships emerge. Review Activity 25, “Foster an Environment of Trust,” for guidance.

Check Yourself

Biased and stereotypical beliefs are primary culprits to covering. Examine your beliefs around age, ability, race, gender, religion, and the LGBTQ community. Work to eliminate, mitigate, and interrupt biased thinking with an inclusive lens. If you have not done so, take the IAT—implicit association test—to help identify biases. Review Activity 12, “Strive to See the Whole Person.”

Let Vulnerability Show

Most folks don't believe themselves to be racist, sexist, homophobic, ageist, ableist, or a religion antagonist, but words and actions can cause one to be perceived as such. We may find out when we've been called out for committing a microaggression, or we can choose to let our vulnerability show when we proactively ask for feedback. Create a safe space to have conversations with individuals about what they have experienced or observed that gets in the way of them being able to be themselves in your presence. Collaborate on ways that you may shift or improve perceptions. Review Activity 28, “Reframe Difficult Conversations on Polarizing Topics,” for guidance.

Action Accelerators

Podcast: Your Brain at Work, “Inclusion, Covering and Authenticity: Interview with Global Expert Kenji Yoshino”: www.stitcher.com/show/your-brain-at-work/episode/inclusion-covering-and-authenticity-interview-with-global-expert-kenji-yoshino-81947224
Forbes.com: “The Difference Between Diversity and Inclusion and Why It Is Important to Your Success,” by William Arruda: www.forbes.com/sites/williamarruda/2016/11/22/the-difference-between-diversity-and-inclusion-and-why-it-is-important-to-your-success/?sh=3687eeb25f8f
Catalyst.org: Infographic. “What Is Covering?”: www.catalyst.org/research/infographic-what-is-covering
QuantumWorkplace.com: “9 Strategies to Create Psychological Safety at Work,” by Shana Bosler: www.quantumworkplace.com/future-of-work/create-psychological-safety-in-the-workplace

Sources Cited

Deloitte.com. “Inclusion survey: Uncovering talent,” www2.deloitte.com/us/en/pages/about-deloitte/articles/covering-in-the-workplace.html
Dr. Helen Ofosu. “Covering at Work: The Pros and Cons of Being Ourselves at Work,” IOadvisory.com, October 27, 2018, ioadvisory.com/being-ourselves-vs-covering-at-work

INTERVIEW: TELLING IT LIKE IT IS…TO GET WHERE WE NEED TO GO

Covering for Gain Pales in Comparison to What Is Lost

Jeremy (not his real name), a light-skinned, straight-haired, racially mixed Black man, born to a Black mother and White father, is light enough to pass for White. While in the sixth grade, his parents divorced, and he eventually lost contact with his father. His mom raised him in a racially integrated suburb of Chicago, and White people assumed that he was one of them until they discovered that the Black woman who accompanied him on every outing was not his nanny but, in fact, his mother. The distinct contrast in their appearance was never a concern for him, but others made it their concern when they expressed utter surprise at the discovery or made it a point to emphasize how they looked nothing alike. The polite White people asked whether he was adopted; others jested “C'mon, you're not his real mother.” As a young kid, it was terrifying to think that the woman you've loved and called “mom” all of your life may not be your real mom. The slights continued throughout high school and negatively impacted his self-esteem. His mother's love kept him grounded. He was a proud son and proud of his Black heritage. It was in high school that he became more aware of the challenges of being Black. The experiences of his White classmates versus his Black ones were starkly different. His Black classmates were unfairly and disproportionately singled out for class disruptions and received more detentions when late for class. He noticed how they were followed around stores while he roamed freely. As he matured, he became painfully aware of the risks associated with being a person of color in America, especially an African American male. The fear of not surviving a mere traffic stop with police, stereotyped as violent, higher hurdles to career success, or simply enjoying a walk in the park caused Jeremy to daydream about what life would be like if he shed his Blackness to pass for White. By senior year, he started to distance himself from his Black friends in hopes of avoiding the perils of a Black man. At 19, he was accepted to a predominantly White university in Boston on an academic scholarship. He arrived on campus identifying as a White man. In his racial ambiguity, he floated among the student body as White and was intentional to not associate with other Black students outside class or otherwise make meaningful connections that had always come so easy. Covering his Blackness and rejecting the Black community, he disappeared into a White world. He altered his speech and mannerisms to appear more White—choosing to impersonate what he remembered about his dad. He vanished from social media and changed his style of dress. He could not muster the courage to share his decision with his mother and worked hard to keep her identity a secret. Recurring nightmares that she may pay him a surprise visit often led to panic attacks. The shift was difficult and painful, but he was determined to muscle through it. He put on Oscar award-winning performances pretending to know little of Black culture and hiding his longing to join Black classmates when they went out for soul food and partied to hip-hop music. When hanging with White students, they were often very open with their racist views and defended the actions of police and campus security in their treatment of Black students. The inability to advocate and educate them on the issues crushed him emotionally. He could feel his mother's disappointment or even disgust although she was not in the room. He recalls the return to campus after his first Spring Break. He watched everyone be themselves. They had stories, pictures, videos, and laughs over social media posts. He felt like an outsider looking in as he had only derivatives of the truth to share. In his isolation, he missed his mom. The life and love she had given him would soon be a distant memory. Deep down he felt that some Black people knew he wasn't White and dreaded that someday he would be called out. Next to not surviving an encounter with the police, being called out was his biggest fear. He was convinced that living safely and successfully in America would be impossible without the privileges that come with being White. As graduation loomed closer, he finally decided to break the news to his mother. He couldn't risk her attendance at the ceremony. He graduated with honors, accepted a job in Silicon Valley, and lives his life as a White man. He is no longer covering but passing. Years later, he continues to reflect on whether the decision was worth it. He would tell you that “while the gains were great, the losses were greater.”

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