What Do You Do When Things Get Difficult?

It is sometimes very difficult to discover your counterpart’s real demands when he seems to be closed to all debate and stuck on the same point: “price, price, price.” Of course, there is no infallible technique for dealing with this, but you can try these three, which have stood the test of time.

Ask for Information to Convince Your Management

Naturally, you are obliged to represent your company, and it is crucial that you show the other party that you are one with your senior managers. However, you can use the fact that you are not the only one making the decision to encourage your counterpart to provide more information: “Even if I wanted to agree to that price with you, my managing director would never accept it. I need a better understanding of what you really want. In fact, on principle my managing director rejects anything that she sees as ‘blackmail,’ but she is always prepared to listen to an argument based on facts. If I can explain your concerns to her, I am sure that together we will be able to find a solution to help you.”

Use Arguments That Your Opponent Is Not Expecting

Sometimes you need to be able to destabilize an uncommunicative negotiator who refuses all debate. One of the best methods is the paradoxical approach, which consists of adopting precisely the stance that your opponent would have liked to use: “If I were in your shoes, I’d tell myself that this supplier is exaggerating. I’d tell myself that his prices are too high, that he is making no effort to be more competitive, and that he is wasting my time.”

The buyer is taken aback but quietly approves. The seller goes on. “I would also tell myself that this seller does not understand my real concerns and is not up to the job. I’d say to myself, I’m prepared to do a deal with him, but not on any old terms.”

The buyer is intrigued—and instantly disarmed. The seller continues, “I’m putting myself in your shoes and I’d like you to put yourself in mine for a moment. I want to do this deal and to reach an agreement with my customer. I’d like to help him to get a good deal, but apart from his price demand—which I cannot meet—I don’t really understand what he wants.”

The buyer smiles. He is ready to speak up now. The deal is almost done.

Get Other People to Talk

The best way of discovering a negotiator’s expectations is often to get those close to him to speak. If your counterpart is a “closed book,” establish a trusting relationship with other people at his company and, when the time is right, try to find out more about your counterpart’s concerns and priorities.

Do not try to manipulate anyone. Simply try to gain an understanding of your counterpart: It is a way of doing him a service.