Be the Person Who Sums Up, Talks Positively, and Steers the Negotiations

Directing discussions does not merely involve asking questions and listening to replies. Above all, it involves using the material that others provide to take the negotiations forward. Four special skills play a crucial role: rewording, placing things in a positive context, the art of silence, and steering the transition.

Summarize

As I have already mentioned several times in this book, rephrasing is an absolutely crucial tool for negotiators. You cannot reach agreement about a solution unless you are already in agreement about the nature of the problem. You therefore need to reformulate your understanding of the problem to be resolved: “If I can sum up what you are saying, at this stage the problem areas for you in our proposal are pricing, delivery times, and termination terms. Is that correct?”

Likewise, you cannot reach agreement overall unless you have first reached several partial agreements: “To sum up where we stand, it seems to me that we have already agreed on several issues: the specifications, the volume being 250 tons over 24 months, the principle of indexing the purchase price to zinc prices, and the terms of payment being 30 days from the end of the month. Can we assume that those matters have been wrapped up?”

Lastly, no negotiator is prepared to make concessions unless she feels that her arguments have been given a hearing.

For the dialogue to take on a different tone, it is often enough to rephrase your counterpart’s words:

Buyer: It’s absolutely vital that we cut our costs and we’re asking all our suppliers to play their part. If we don’t reduce our own selling prices by 5% per annum over 3 years, we’ve had it, and so have you.

Seller: Yes, in other words, it’s essential that you remain competitive, and your purchasing prices are a key element for you, is that what you are saying?

Buyer: Exactly! Our purchasing department has been given a clear mission to cut costs by 5% from this year forward.

Seller: Yes, so you’re in the front line yourself, implementing this action plan, I suppose?

Buyer: Absolutely, it’s my number one priority right now, and that’s why I’d like us to reach an agreement.

Seller: I quite understand about your cost-cutting objectives. Were you also aware that we’ve already made significant reductions over the past 2 years and our margins have been slashed? In the meantime, we’re faced with an increased wage bill and raw materials costs, and we have to make a reasonable margin on our products or we’ll be unable to invest for the future, and then it will be our customers who lose out.

Buyer: I understand, but you need to find a solution.

Seller: Yes, we need to find a solution, and we can only develop such a solution with your assistance. You can help us to make further reductions in our costs, and we can help you to cut yours. Can we look at a few potential courses of action?

Put Things in a Positive Context

Tactfully directing discussions involves ensuring that they remain constructive, even when one of the negotiators uses negative or unpleasant language. One of the secrets of the best negotiators is to see at least something positive in any negative or aggressive words, such as a common-sense judgment, an interesting question, or a legitimate concern. For example, if the buyer strongly criticizes the price, it may well be because—quite legitimately—he wants to hear additional arguments to make his decision easier. Thus it is possible to put statements in a positive context by deploying three techniques:

1. A more gentle rephrasing
2. Redefining the aspiration
3. Redefining the question

A more gentle rephrasing consists of taking the buyer’s words but freeing him of his excessively negative tone to ensure that he can usefully contribute to the ultimate solution:

Buyer: Your new financial package really is very complicated. It’s like negotiating your way around Spaghetti Junction. I have to tell you that our head office people will tear it to shreds.

Seller: Yes, the setup is slightly more complex than before, and some of your head office managers may be a bit dubious at first. To that end, I suggest that you have another look at…

Redefining the aspiration involves expressing what the buyer wants when she insists on talking about what she does not want:

Buyer: I have to tell you, I don’t want a complicated financial package. I don’t like all this small print!

Seller: Yes, you have a pragmatic approach and you like to be given a straightforward proposal.

Buyer: Exactly. Though having said that, I try to keep an open mind. We can look at various options, provided they are clear and straightforward.

Redefining the question is, without doubt, an even more powerful weapon, as it allows you to choose how to phrase the key question concealed behind the buyer’s apparent aggression.

Buyer: I almost believe you did this on purpose. My head office will torpedo that proposal, that’s absolutely certain!

Seller: Yes, I understand. Basically the issue you’re raising is how we can come up with a proposal that will be acceptable to you, to us, and to the people at head office. Is that right?

Buyer: Yes, exactly! I’ve got a few ideas.

Apply the Art of Silence

When the important thing is to defend your margin, silence is golden. In practice, during negotiations there are four different types of silence, and they are all important.

• The attentive silence, as already discussed in chapter 11, is designed to show your counterpart that you are taking in what she is saying. When accompanied by a steady gaze and a nod of the head every now and again, it creates trust and invites others to tell you more. It is often after a silence of this type that a negotiator lets slip confidential information that will prove to be invaluable in reaching an agreement.
  • Buyer: I need a more competitive proposal in terms of price and deadlines, as I want to present the deputy chairman with a cast-iron case.
  • (Seller responds with attentive silence.)
  • Buyer: Basically, what he’s most interested in is the discount, he doesn’t do detail.
• The wise silence is the pause you allow yourself before responding to a difficult question. The best negotiators use this brief pause to reassert control of the conversation.
  • Seller: For me, it’s a matter of principle and I need a clear answer. Do you agree to waive this clause, yes or no?
  • Buyer (after a long, silent pause): At the present time, I can’t give you a positive response, but I understand that this is a key issue for you. Before giving you an answer I’d first like us to clarify a few things and the first question I’d like to put to you is…
• The “second chance” silence allows the other person an opportunity to qualify what he has just told you. It is accompanied by an unflinching gaze, with a face expressing neither approval nor criticism, just expectation.
  • Seller: There’s no question of us accepting an agreement if you don’t give any guarantees for subsequent years!
  • (Buyer remains silent.)
  • Seller: Well, let’s say a guarantee for next year, at least.
• The challenging silence comes into play when the situation is deadlocked and no one wants to give ground. There is a feeling that the first one to speak will undermine his own position, either by trying to offer a concession to secure a compromise or by trying to change the subject, and thereby fleeing the battle. The best solution in such situations is often to view this silence as a game, to enjoy extending it, but to allow your counterpart the pleasure of feeling that he has won the battle. Thus you break the silence by saying, for example, “You’re a very hard-headed negotiator, if I may say so!” Then ask him for a proposal: “How do you propose that we get out of this one?”

Steer the Transition

In tennis, on receiving a deep serve, an inexperienced player will immediately return the ball from whence it came and then wait to see what happens. An experienced player will decide whether to play the return long or short, with slice or topspin, cross-court, down the line, or down the middle, with force or delicacy, from the baseline or approaching the net. Likewise, an experienced negotiator will continually steer the action. She will have an infinite number of options at her disposal, including the following:

• Remaining on topic but putting the ball back in her opponent’s court: “What do you think?”
• Zooming in: “I’d like to draw your attention to a particular point.”
• Zooming out: “Let’s take an overview…”
• Moving on to the next subject: “Now I suggest that we tackle the issue of…”
• Isolating the subject: “I suggest that we leave that issue on the table for now and come back to it once we’ve examined the topic of…”

Just as a tennis player selects his shot, a negotiator’s response involves summarizing and rephrasing: “Right, together we’ve defined the general framework of the contract. Now I’d like to draw your attention to…”

Although there is not really any perfect order in which to tackle items for negotiation, you should abide scrupulously by two principles:

• Where possible, address the “knotty issues” after your counterpart has already devoted a certain amount of time to the deal, to ensure she does not get discouraged too quickly.
• Keep at least two subjects that you assume will cause deadlock until the end, one being a subject where you will be able to give ground if necessary.