In General

Deadlocked negotiations are always “the other party’s” fault: The seller believes that the buyer is obstinately making unacceptable demands, while from the buyer’s viewpoint it is the seller who is stubbornly refusing to reveal his best offer. “Take it or leave it” does not constitute deadlock. It means that the other party is summoning you to reach an agreement quickly, on terms that she feels are achievable, although they rarely are.

Success in negotiations is not a matter of inflicting a defeat on the other party. On the contrary, it is important to help her reach a good agreement with which she can be satisfied. Thus, in the first instance, it is a case of helping her to reopen discussions that she sought to close down too quickly. You then need to help her come to the conclusion (and to convince those she works with) that she is obtaining the best possible agreement. This “best possible agreement” is not merely the best price; it requires a proposal that is best suited to her “real demands.” It also requires a proposal designed to leave her feeling that she negotiated well.

But what if the two parties’ positions really are irreconcilable? You need to be able to give up on certain deals. For a seller, this involves leaving your competitors with less profitable deals and with more disloyal and price-sensitive customers. For a buyer, it involves making do with another supplier, who may be less exciting, but who might be able to offer a reasonable solution to the problem at hand.