RULE 19

Don’t expect to be perfect

OK, so you’re aiming to be the very best at everything. But what if you fail? So long as you tried, that’s alright. Who have you ever met who never failed at anything, however small? You’re allowed to be human you know. In fact, you’re actively encouraged to be human. Don’t try to set yourself above everyone else – the rest of us fail from time to time.

If you’re not a perfectionist in any way – sloppy, haphazard, unorganized, messy and with a ‘so what’ attitude – please skip this section. But I hardly know anyone like that. I have a friend who is a silversmith. His house is a tip, his personal life is all over the place, but every piece of jewellery he turns out has to be exactly right. Most of us have some perfectionist tendencies.

My jeweller friend is quite right that every piece of work has to be perfect (certainly at his prices). If any piece is faulty he shouldn’t sell it. But that doesn’t mean that he should beat himself up for having failed. He can just recognize that not everything works out, and get to work on the next piece.

I can’t stand people who seem perfect. They make me feel inadequate. And that’s not a nice way to go through life, is it? Going round making other people feel inadequate? So let’s have none of it. Let’s all aim to be the best, but acknowledge that it won’t always happen. Just like gemstones, it’s the flaws, the weaknesses, the imperfections that lend character. A flaw in a gemstone may detract from its value (though not always) but it also proves that it’s genuine.

You are the sum total of everything that has happened in your life. The successes and the failures, the achievements and the mistakes. If you were to take any of the imperfect bits out of that equation, you wouldn’t be you.

This Rule really does belong with the previous one, because I’m not saying that you can be uncommitted and half-hearted about everything you do because you don’t need to be perfect. And as a Rules Player I’m sure you wouldn’t take it that way. The point is that so long as you’re aiming for the best, you shouldn’t beat yourself up when you don’t always make it. Not only that, but you should celebrate your flaws and imperfections as an important and necessary part of you. This is an attitude that will make you a lot more fun to be around, I can tell you.

CELEBRATE YOUR FLAWS
AND IMPERFECTIONS AS AN
IMPORTANT AND NECESSARY
PART OF YOU

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