RULE 22

Don’t dwell on the past

Whatever the past was, it’s gone. There is nothing you can do to change anything that has gone before and so you must turn your attention to the here and now. It is hard to resist the allure of dwelling on what has gone before. But if you want to be successful in your life, you have to turn your attention to what is happening for you right now. You might be tempted to dwell on the past because it was awful or because it was wonderful. Either way, you have to leave it behind because the only way to live is in the present.

If you’re revisiting the past because of regrets, then you need to be clear that you can’t go back and undo what you’ve done. If you hang on to guilt, you’re only damaging yourself. We’ve all made bad decisions that have adversely affected people around us that we professed to love but whom we treated disgracefully. There isn’t anything you can do to wipe the slate clean. What you can do is to resolve not to make such bad decisions again. That’s all anyone can ask of us – that we acknowledge where we messed up and are trying our hardest not to repeat the pattern.

If the past was better for you and you hanker after your glory days, then learn to appreciate the memories but also move on and put your efforts into finding a different kind of good time right now. If it truly was better back then (take off those rose-tinted spectacles for a minute), maybe you can analyze exactly why – money, power, health, vitality, fun, youth. Then move on to find other avenues to explore. We all have to leave good stuff behind and find new challenges, new areas to inspire us.

Every day that we wake up to is a fresh start and we can make of it what we want, write what we want on that blank canvas. Keeping that enthusiasm going can be tough – a bit like trying to take up exercise. The first few times are impossibly hard but if you persevere then one day you find you’re jogging, walking, swimming without conscious effort. But getting going is really tough and requires immense powers of concentration, enthusiasm, dedication and perseverance to keep at it.

Try to see the past as a room separate from the one you live in now. You can go in there but you don’t live there any more. You can go visit but it isn’t home any more. Home is here now. Each second of this present is precious. Don’t waste any drops of precious time by spending too much time in that old room. Don’t miss what is happening now because you were too busy looking back, or later you’ll be busy looking back at this time and wondering why you wasted it. Live here, live now, live in this moment.

LIVE HERE, LIVE NOW,
LIVE IN THIS MOMENT

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