82.

Lean on Your Friends

When you ask for support, you may be pleasantly surprised to find that you can get it. When I was single and unemployed, the toughest part of my day was right after I woke up. I felt disconnected from the world. So rather than feel sorry for myself, I called on my friends to get me through it. One friend volunteered to have me call her every morning at 8:00 a.m. We had our daily agenda: How was I feeling? What was I thinking about? What were my plans for the day? What did I propose to do in connection with finding work? What measurable results did I promise to produce? The next morning, during our 8:00 a.m. call, I reported my results.

These daily phone calls provided a number of benefits. For one, I felt connected. I was talking to someone other than myself. I also felt understood and supported. These calls were no pity party. My friend knew I had a goal in mind and specific tasks I needed to do every day to reach it. She was not interested in hearing me complain. She supported my better nature. While she was sympathetic, this was a business call.

These phone calls helped to ground me and to focus me on the job(s) at hand every day. I knew I had someone on my team who was confident I would find work (which I eventually did), who supported my efforts, and who kept me on target during the entire process. We talked for about 10 minutes every morning for about six or seven weeks (we took the weekends off). It obviously required a time commitment on her part, and she was happy to do it. The main thing was that she was there for me. That's what friends are for. You might want to find a committed listener of your own.