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Learn to Read Body Language

You may be shocked to learn that people in the business world sometimes lie. (Okay, maybe that's not so shocking.) If you want to discover what people are truly communicating, stop paying so much attention to what they say in words and begin focusing on their body language. Bodies—that includes eyes, hands, and facial expressions—are where the truth resides. You can find many videos about nonverbal communication on YouTube that demonstrate how to detect the real message a person is sending.

In job interviews, I don't pay much attention to the words being spoken by the candidate. Instead, I focus on what their bodies are telegraphing. It gives me a much more accurate read on who a candidate is—and if I'm interested in having that person join my team. I also use this ability in a classroom setting to gauge whether my students are getting bored. If so, I might need to move on to another exercise or maybe just give them a short break. I even employ it in meetings so I can tell if I'm getting my point across or how others are responding to what's being discussed. Are they upset? Confused? Distracted? Happy?

Being able to read body language is one of my most valuable skills. It allows me to monitor and, if need be, quickly adjust my style of communication—my tone, volume, speed of delivery, body posture, hand gestures, etc.—in response to whomever I'm talking to. This has made me a far more effective communicator. After all, if no one's paying attention to me or getting what I'm saying, why bother to continue talking? The point of communication is not to impress the listener with your public speaking prowess or large vocabulary, but to have an impact on him or her.

I “read” my staff. From the moment they walk in the office in the morning, I have a sense of how they are feeling, before they say a word. I can tell by how they carry themselves whether they're ill or upset. If I perceive that they are, I always ask them if something's wrong. Often, it's just something small—maybe they were stuck in traffic on the way to the office. Regardless, at that point, I just need to let them vent for a few moments to release their frustration so they can be fully present for the day's work ahead. As someone said, “A coach [or in this case, a boss] is only as good as his team feels.”