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Be Coachable

Years ago, the United Negro College Fund adopted its motto: “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” After being a career mentor and coach for many years, I've updated that motto to read as follows: “A coach is a terrible thing to waste.” Whatever brilliant insights I have or spot-on advice I may offer, if my client or student is not receptive—if he doesn't listen and apply the coaching—then I might as well being talking to my cat.

The ability to listen without judgment is perhaps the most valuable communication tool we possess as human beings. This requires more than just politely waiting for the coach to finish talking until it's your turn to share your opinion. Being coached requires humility—the realization that in some cases, you may have no idea what you need to do. There will be times during your quest to find work when things will get tough. You'll feel like you've run out of ideas and options. When that happens, surrender to the coaching.

I teach a course called “Critical Thinking,” but the practice of critical thinking itself also provides the foundation for many of my other, seemingly unrelated courses. I've reduced critical thinking to just two words: “How about?” In other words, you don't have all the answers. You don't or can't see all the possibilities. In the midst of a job or work search, when you've executed your battle plan every day and done everything you're supposed to but you're still not getting the results you're after, surrender.

Look to your friends. They're less involved than you and have a better perspective on the matter. They will be able to see openings that, in your frustration—maybe to the point of resignation or even terror—you can't see. Be smart and gracious enough to get out of the way. Shut up, listen, and follow their advice. “But,” you protest, “I've done that already.” Maybe you haven't. Or maybe it's time to do it again—or in a different way. Allow the people who love you to lighten your psychic load and offer you strategies and tactics you may never have thought of (despite your infinite wisdom). Listen...and lighten up. It's just looking for work. You're not in an ER, and no one's going to die.