Making our team aware that conflict is likely to arise will enable them to process it more easily. Discussing different strategies to managing conflict will give them tools to fall back on when things get a bit sticky between team members.

We should look to form an agreement on which strategies to use when we’re calm and cool so that we can handle things when we’re not. To set up the agreement we'll need:

• The consent of the team
• The leader to take the facilitator/coach role in holding the team to their agreements

The following are examples of conflict protocols:

• Don’t triangulate: a polite way of saying don't talk about someone behind their back
• Address it or drop it within 24 hours
• Let go of stories
• Be candid and straightforward
• Depersonalize—treat feedback as a team issue, it’s not personal, the whole team is responsible

Remember, conflict is usually caused by the system and the pressures within it. If we take this perspective, it allows us to get to the root cause of the problem much more quickly. If a team member isn't performing well for instance, is it the team member's fault? Likely not, people aren't inherently lazy. Getting curious without directly challenging someone personally will help defuse the situation before it comes to a head. In the following section we'll look at how to give constructive feedback.