46.

Meet in Person

So how do you obtain all this detailed personal information? Do you pretend you're a police detective or a reporter and give ‘em the third degree? Not at all. What you do is meet with them in person and “break bread.” In all cultures, the act of sharing a meal allows people to relax, let their hair down, and begin talking about their personal lives. So that means you need to meet for coffee, breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Choose what they have time for—and what you can afford.

Meeting in person gives you something tweeting, texting, emails, and phone calls don't: time and an environment in which to have a conversation. The personal information shared when you're schmoozing (a Yiddish word that means to converse informally) can populate your granular database (see the preceding tip). No Internet superhighway—I don't care how robust and sophisticated it may be—will ever replace the art of the schmooze.

You don't want to sit there with a pad and paper taking notes. After all, you're not a detective or a reporter. But when you've said your goodbyes, try to remember all the personal information your companion shared. Write it down, and then enter it in your granular database. Every conversation you have with that person from then on offers an opportunity to fill in the blanks. Over time, you will have a dossier of sorts on everyone in your ever-growing network.