66.

Conquer Shyness

In a world in which everyone is always hustling for work, you can't afford to be shy or modest. You may be saying, “I could never talk myself up/sell myself/approach strangers in that way” (or some variation of that internal conversation). Maybe it feels like bragging. But I'm here to tell you, you're wrong.

Some people are genuinely shy—something that's painfully difficult to overcome. You may never enjoy talking to people about yourself. But you need to learn how to do it. Having that ability will lead to work for you—work that you love and are meant to do. You have my permission to go to networking events, smile, talk to strangers, and pitch yourself—and get sick to your stomach afterward. What matters is that you did what you needed to do. Congratulations!

Here are some suggestions to help make this process less painful:

• Join Toastmasters International. This nonprofit educational organization operates clubs worldwide to help members improve their communication, public-speaking, and leadership skills. Attend a meeting—or lots of meetings. The first thing you'll notice is that you're not alone—one of the many benefits of any networking you do. Many people have difficulty communicating with strangers and/or speaking in public. Toastmasters is a supportive environment that will help you manage these fears while increasing your confidence.
• Take acting classes. Taking acting classes is a wonderful way to get you out of your head. Plus, there's the possibility that performing in front of people could actually be fun. You may be saying, “Acting means being someone else. When I have to network for business, I can't hide behind a character; I have to be me.” Let me clue you in: Everything is a performance. People are always “on.” Whenever you're selling yourself, you need to appear upbeat, positive, and happy—whether you feel like it or not. It's all acting. So learn from the masters how it's done. You might also discover how joyful an experience acting can be!
• Do therapy. Sometimes, the fears you have are deep-seated. They may even extend back to your childhood. That's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you deserve to be congratulated for pushing yourself hard enough in your job search to discover fears that may have been getting in your way your whole life. Now it's time to continue by finding professional help so you can understand what caused the fear and take the appropriate steps to manage it.