PREFACE TO THE PAPERBACK EDITION
SECTION I THE SECRET TO REACHING ANYONE
The Secret: Getting Through Is Simple
2 A LITTLE SCIENCE: HOW THE BRAIN GOES FROM “NO” TO “YES”
Amygdala Hijack and the Death of Rational Thought
SECTION II THE 9 CORE RULES FOR GETTING THROUGH TO ANYONE
3 MOVE YOURSELF FROM “OH F#@& TO OK”
The “Oh F#@& to OK” Speed Drill
How Well Do You Know the People You Know?
5 MAKE THE OTHER PERSON FEEL “FELT”
Why Does “Feeling Felt” Change People?
The Steps to Making Another Person Feel “Felt”
6 BE MORE INTERESTED THAN INTERESTING
Don’t Just Act Interested—Be Interested
8 HELP PEOPLE TO EXHALE EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY
Moving a Person Away from Distress
9 CHECK YOUR DISSONANCE AT THE DOOR
The Perils of Corporate Dissonance
When You Can’t Avoid Dissonance, Anticipate It
10 WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST—BARE YOUR NECK
Show Them Your Neck, and They’ll Want to Show You Theirs
11 STEER CLEAR OF TOXIC PEOPLE
Mirror Check: Who’s the Problem?
SECTION III 12 Easy-to-Use Tools for Achieving Buy-in and Getting Through
When to Employ the Empathy Jolt
15 THE REVERSE PLAY, EMPATHY JOLT #2
16 “DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?”
19 FROM TRANSACTION TO TRANSFORMATION
What Question Would Make You Look Up?
22 TAKE IT ALL THE WAY TO “NO”
23 THE POWER THANK YOU AND POWER APOLOGY
“Thank You” Versus the Power Thank You
SECTION IV FAST FIXES FOR 7 CHALLENGING SITUATIONS
26 THE NARCISSIST AT THE TABLE
29 GETTING THROUGH TO YOURSELF
FREE SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM REAL INFLUENCE BY MARK GOULSTON AND JOHN ULLMEN