3.

Learn by Doing

I have a philosophy behind all my teaching and coaching, and it's this: I don't think we learn much by memorizing facts, or reading theories, or taking tests, or doing busy work, or writing essays, or reading, or hearing about others' experiences, or any of the other things that have been hallmarks of formal education in this country for decades. Rather, I think we learn through experience.

In school, most of us were taught using rote learning (also called “cognitive learning” or “didactic learning”), the goal of which is to have the teacher transmit information to the student. “Open head, pour in information, close head,” as my friend Dr. Elizabeth Trebow describes it. But think of anything you do well (riding a bike, baking a cake, etc.). Remember how well you did it the first time you tried it and compare that to how much better you do it now. How I think we really learn is by practicing and rehearsing, by doing—over and over and over. Experiential learning is about meaningful, immersive, and long-lasting learning. It's knowledge that's relevant, pervasive, and applied. It creates muscle memory, so it sticks with you.

Don't take my word for it:

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

—Aristotle, Greek philosopher (384–322 B.C.E.)

You practice and you get better. It's very simple.

—Philip Glass, American composer (1937–)

Given that your work and career are something you want to do, the more you do it, the better you'll get. And although practicing isn't necessarily fun, it does get you where you want to go.

This is true for everything in life, including “perfecting” your craft—and selling it. And one of the things I've learned about learning is that you don't have to enjoy the process in order to improve. There is a trend in American education that says that a student needs to enjoy the process in order to learn. I don't agree. It doesn't have to be fun. I study swing dancing. For someone well educated, it's a humbling process. My teacher shows me the steps for a new move. I try it, and invariably I don't do it correctly. She shows me again. I try again and fail again. This goes on over and over again until I finally do get the move. And then it becomes—and remains—part of my dance routine. Is it worth the effort? Absolutely. My wife's favorite activity is dancing, so seeing the smile on her face when we do a new move on the dance floor makes it all worthwhile. It's not about me; it's about her.

When you're always driven to reach your goal, you are unstoppable. No amount of frustration will deter you for long. The journey becomes about the joy of discovering what is possible and accomplishing things you never thought you could do. Don't let others' labels (including your own) limit who you can be. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish!

In The Karate Kid (1984), the main character, Daniel, is a high-school senior transplanted to the suburbs of Los Angeles, and Mr. Miyagi is the Okinawan handyman in Daniel's apartment building. Mr. Miyagi becomes Daniel's martial arts teacher. He begins Daniel's training by having him perform menial tasks, including waxing cars, sanding a wooden walkway, and painting a fence at Mr. Miyagi's house. Each chore is accompanied with specific breathing and body movements, including clockwise and counter-clockwise and up-and-down hand motions. Daniel fails to see any connection between his chores and martial arts; he believes Mr. Miyagi has just been using him as slave labor. When he complains, Mr. Miyagi shows Daniel that by doing these chores, Daniel has been learning defensive blocks through muscle memory. You may remember Mr. Miyagi's oft-repeated instruction to Daniel, “Wax on, wax off.”

Having been a student for 20 years (with three degrees to show for it) and having taught more than 60 different courses (not just classes, but courses—everything from Criminology to The History of Rock ‘N’ Roll), it's been my experience that most of us learn not by memorizing information and being tested on our ability to regurgitate it, or by studying theories, but by doing.