Know What You Want

Pretty obvious really. But hang on; are you really sure you know just what it is you’re trying to get? Promotion maybe? A pay raise? Are you desperate for somebody to offer you a new job in his company? Or do you want to persuade your partner to cut down her hours and spend more time with you? Start a family maybe?

Let’s take just one of those as an example—say, getting promoted. OK; that’s an aim. So what’s your problem? If you work reasonably hard, the odds are you’ll get just what you want, eventually. Most of us gradually work our way up the ladder. Oh, you don’t want it eventually, you want it now—is that right? Well, why didn’t you say so?

And while we’re at it, precisely what job do you want to be promoted to? And at what pay?

You see, the clearer you are about what exactly you want, the easier it is to aim for it. Otherwise you may not even know when you’ve got it. Take getting your partner to work less and spend more time with you as an example. If he comes home earlier one night a week, will you be happy? Will you have what you want? Maybe that will be fine. Or maybe you want him to come home at a reasonable time three days a week, or every day, or just one day but to also be up for going out for the evening.

Try asking yourself: “How will I know I’ve got what I want on this?” What will be different? What will have changed? How will your life look?

So the first step to getting what you want is to identify precisely what that want is.