Want What You Get

I have a friend who once went for an interview for a job. To be honest she was driven by desperation—she just needed to get away from the hellish career situation she was in (and fast). She didn’t get the job and was absolutely devastated. However, having met my friend, the interviewer decided to bring forward plans to create a completely new role (as well as filling the existing vacancy) just so she could be hired.

She’s still working in that job ten years later; it’s been that good, and it has taken her in a whole new direction she would never have previously envisioned but one she came to feel was absolutely ideal for her.

I have another friend who met a woman he liked, as a friend, but initially discounted her as a future partner because she wasn’t like his previous girlfriends, and there was no stomach churning or massive physical firework reaction. The woman is now his wife, they’ve started a family, and he considers himself to be the most amazingly lucky man to have such a fantastic relationship.

Sometimes you don’t know what you want until it happens. You can’t always predict what’s going to come your way. But if you are open to possibility, and are willing to give things a try to see where it takes you, sometimes it will take you to a place you couldn’t have envisioned but that is perfect for you. It might be that you get something that is not exactly what you originally envisioned as your goal, but you can decide to want it having already gotten it.

Only you will ever really know whether you get what you want. I’m not advocating settling for second best here. This is not about compromise; it’s about attitude. If the point of the exercise—to find work you enjoy, to have a brilliant relationship—has been achieved, it’s entirely a matter of perspective.