Know What You’ve Agreed To

Not all conversations lead to a decision, but often they do. And it’s surprising how often everyone has a different recollection of what’s been decided. That’s why we have minutes for meetings. You might like to try minuting your morning chat with your partner about who’s buying the milk, but personally I’d be somewhat irked if you were my partner and you tried to do that at 7:30 a.m. just as I was rushing out the door.

On the other hand, you do need to know who’s buying the milk. So you need to get into the habit of at least summarizing the conclusion before you go your separate ways. “Right. So I’ll buy the milk and I’ll see you back here at about 6:30 then.” This is even more important when you’re working toward something you really want. It’s crucial you’re clear about whether you’re calling someone back or waiting for their call. Did your boss ask for your report by this Friday or next Friday? You’ll only know if you summarize what’s been said, and listen to yourself summarizing it. (I know that sounds foolish, but it is possible to summarize on autopilot and not actually know what you’ve said—I’ve done it myself.)

If the discussion is at all important, and especially if it’s official or work-based in any way, it’s also sensible to email your understanding of the decision to the other person—so they can reply if they don’t think they heard what you thought they thought they heard. (See how easy it is to get confused?) Drop your boss a quick email: “Thanks for the chat this morning, and I just wanted to confirm that I’ll get my report in by next Friday at the latest.”