RULE TO BREAK

“The job comes first”

If you come from the kind of background where most people have serious careers – and very possibly even if you don’t – there can be a load of pressure to get yourself stuck into a career that has ‘good prospects’ and a potentially high salary. Parents, teachers, friends, all of them can push you in this direction. And when you start on the first rungs of that ladder, your colleagues and managers will step the pressure up even more.

You’ll start to do well, and get regular promotions and pay rises. Of course you’ll have to put in long hours, and maybe work some weekends. There might be quite a bit of travelling too. The boss will call you in the evening or on a Sunday – but that’s OK because it makes you feel important and needed. Holidays may be hard to arrange, but you can probably manage a few days if you take your smartphone and laptop and get some work done while you’re away.

Let me be clear: I’m not saying that jobs like this are a bad thing. For many people they’re wonderful. They’re stimulating and exciting and they keep you on your toes. There are bad days, but often the stress is very positive and buzzy. Don’t let me put you off this kind of career, whether it’s in teaching, business, politics, media or scientific research. Or anything else.

However … there is more to life than your career. There are people: friends, family, partner, kids. It’s people who really make life worthwhile. And if you really sink yourself into a high-pressure career for too long, you’ll find that all of those people drift away, or never come to pass. And one day – when you retire, or get made redundant – you’ll wonder what you have left, and what it was all for.

Big exciting careers are great, and for the first few years after leaving school or uni it’s fine to bury yourself in your work, but by the time you reach your mid to late twenties you need to be aware that there’s more to life. Don’t let it all slip by. Don’t end up with no partner, or partners who keep leaving you, because you can’t give your attention to anything outside your job.

Even if you don’t want a relationship or kids, you still need an escape from what you do most of the time. You need friends who can take you away from all that for a while. These friends aren’t going to appear out of the ether. You have to go out and find them, and then give them enough attention so that they stick around. They’ll understand that your job keeps you busy a lot of the time, so long as you make sure there’s some time for them too.

Don’t keep promising yourself you’ll free up more time in a year or two, or after the next promotion. Set a firm date and stick to it. You don’t have to give up the job – just make sure it allows you a proper life too.